


You Fucking Emo, I Love You

by gr3asy_p1ss_l1zard



Series: Kylux High School AU [1]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Ace Spectrum Armitage Hux, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - High School, Armitage Hux Has Feelings, Armitage Hux Needs A Hug, Awkward Flirting, Brendol Hux's A+ Parenting, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Humor, Gay, Homosexuality, Hux goes by a Different Name, Idiots in Love, Light Angst, M/M, Out of Character, Platonic Cuddling, Slow Burn, Underage Drug Use, Young Armitage Hux, also romantic cuddling, armitage hux is chaotic, debate
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-20
Updated: 2020-05-17
Packaged: 2021-02-22 15:21:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 15
Words: 21,844
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22818379
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gr3asy_p1ss_l1zard/pseuds/gr3asy_p1ss_l1zard
Summary: In which Kylo Ren is a scrawny little emo and Armitage Hux is has an inner chaotic bastard.
Relationships: Armitage Hux/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Series: Kylux High School AU [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1663588
Kudos: 17





	1. Enemies

**Author's Note:**

> Kind of projecting with this one but whatever. I wanted to write cute soft high school Kylux and no one is going to stop me.  
> Also Armitage Hux's middle name is Percival (because I said so) and that's what he goes by.

First day of senior year!!

Just kidding, Armitage Hux was only starting his sophomore year at the Academy, that fateful day.

And it wasn't the first day of school - It was the 6th.

A Tuesday, if one wanted to go by Earth days. And a fine Tuesday at that. Cold, rainy, and absolutely perfect.

Armitage Hux stepped out of his dad's car with some trepidation, pasting a false but perfect look of pure calm on his face. Brendol so loved to chew him out before school, as if hoping one day he would walk into the Academy with his guard down and suffer the consequences. Whether it was out of a desire to better his son or just his vindictive nature, Hux had never learned. 

In reality, Hux didn't much care what happened at school, he cared about what happened afterwards. 

The school's debate team was starting practices today and Hux could not wait to join.

His love of the sport (if it could be called that) knew no bounds. He loved to argue. Or rather, he loved to win. Not that he could practice his superior skills at home. His father was not a kind man. Perhaps it was dumb of Hux to use the sport as an outlet.

Or at least, that's how it started. But he really did love the thrill of debating and winning.

Of proving that he was smart enough to put together a convincing argument and diplomatically present it in a persuasive way. It was his favorite thing in the world. 

And that damn edgy freshman ruined his favorite thing. 

Hux walked into the debate classroom with an extra little spring in his step and a swish to his hips that could only portray overjoyed confidence. He swung his bag onto the floor, relishing the hearty thump that the massive bag sent resounding through the room. He owned this room. Not really (after all he was just a sophomore with an attitude and a lot to prove) but he wanted to believe it.

Ten minutes or so into practice, as they were discussing the logistics of the upcoming season - which meets to attend, which topics to participate in, how to write cases, where they would stay, where they would eat - when his coach turned directly to address him.

"Armitage, I expect great things from you this season. If your award at the Galactic Tournament last year means anything, it is that your potential is unmatched." 

Flattering. Very much so. Armitage prided himself in being really good at one thing, and that thing was debate. But there was one small problem with her statement.

"Thank you! If you don't mind, I'm going by my middle name this year. Please, call me Percival." 

And for some kriffing reason, the freshman, who up until this point, had been sulking on the couch in the best (or possibly the worst) slouch Hux had ever seen, decided to laugh at this. 

"Percival?? That's almost worse than Armitage." 

"Shut UP, freshman. It's not like your name is any better." 

The skinny, milk pale little boy just slouched further into the folds of the couch cushions, charcoal grey uniform blending in perfectly with the school's bland furniture. 

Hux sat up a little straighter, adjusting his own uniform in compensation for the freshman's rumpled attire. The grey material was cut perfectly, ironed to a tee and carefully hiding his skin-and-bones body. 

They didn't really talk again for another several weeks and by that point, Hux had either forgotten about him or grown used to his presence.

He was, it seemed, something of a fuck boy. An emo fuckboy.

Constantly late to practice because he was too busy flirting. He would show up with his hair rumpled and chaotic, too long, totally non regulation. Why this bothered Hux so damn much, he couldn't say. 

But weeks had passed and lo and behold, their first meet was upon them.

Hux was amazed that the boy (whose name was apparently Kylo Ren) even owned something that wasn't either black emo clothes or a rumpled uniform but the day of their first competition heralded both bright sun and Ren in a nice outfit. 

A very nice outfit. 

Which pissed of Hux to no end.

How dare this newcomer - this outsider - come to his team, come to his MEET, his debut and actually fit in. This loser wasn't worthy of being a part of Hux's beloved team. He was only there because his father forced him. He didn't belong. 

And to top it off, that loser was coming to Hux's first round. 

Not because their coach was making him, no, because he wanted to.

Hux was convinced this kid existed solely to piss him off.

So they took their places.

Hux at the front with his laptop and his pens and his notepad, all filled with preflowed cases in perfect, small handwriting (Kylo Ren had the nerve, the kriffing nerve, to call it girly handwriting, as if his chicken scratch was any better) and Kylo Ren sat at the back, slouching as always (it's true, the clothes don't make the man), manspreading an impossible amount in the hard, cold school chair, nasty, wavy, overlong emo hair flopping across his face in a black wave.

The little bastard had the nerve to wink - wink - at Hux before his first speech.

"Good luck, Percy" 

Little shit. 

So Hux stood up and decided right then and there, that he was going to debate so well that that shitty little freshman would get off his team and stay the hell away from his favorite activity. No more would he be a blight on Hux's solace.

He would acknowledge how greatly outclassed he was and get the fuck out. 

His competitor was really good. Like super good. Definitely a senior. She was tall, much taller than Hux at his meager stature of 5'8'' and intimidatingly thick.

Two speeches into the round, Hux already knew he had lost. It was like all the air had gone out of him when he sat down after his first rebuttal. There was no way he could win. For all his bluster, he was still just a year older than Ren and there was no way to scare him off now.

He met Ren's eyes, knowing the fire behind his own had faded and his defeat was showing.   
And that little shit had the nerve to blow him a kiss.   
What an absolute bastard.  
A very cute bastard. 

Not at all.

No way.

Hux breezed through the next two rounds with ease.

Thanks to power matching, there was no way the angery ginger could lose now.

Not when he was fired up on anger at the nerve of the freshman. 

Of course, halfway through his last round, his damn glasses fell off. Just as he reached up to push them further onto his face, they fell off. Just broke in his fingers and clattered with finality onto the table top.

And Ren, bless his nasty little emo heart, didn't laugh. He didn't even crack a smile. (Well he might have, it wasn't like the now blind Hux could see his face). This day was going great. Just stellar.


	2. To Friends

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kylo Ren and Hux have a bit of a heart to heart chat on the way back from a debate meet and Hux realizes that they are both more human than he could ever have imagined.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh yea, Hux is kind of out of character - Forgot to tag that.

So he hadn't managed to scare off the freshman.

If anything, it seemed he had inspired him. Kylo Ren threw himself into the sport of debate with a fervor that he never had before.

And Hux was almost, deep down, a little proud of him.

He made a point of smiling at Kylo in the hallways (partly because he was, against his will and better judgement, warming up to the emo, and partly because he knew it was a 'secret' that Kylo did debate and smiling at him would piss him off).

Strange, how quickly he could stop hating someone when someone stopped hating what he loved.

And oh, how he loved debate.

Hux lived for it. Every Tuesday, after the long hours of sitting up straight in cold, hard, grey chairs, seated in the middle of cold, hard, grey classrooms, walking into the (admittedly just as cold and grey) debate classroom was a great relief.

And, so, dare he say, was seeing Kylo Ren.

It was fun, in a way, acting as though Kylo's membership of the team was a secret he had to keep. A secret that he and Kylo shared.

Well, him and the rest of the team. Including Pryde, who had apparently had a crush on Hux back in secondary school and still made a point of intruding on every conversation he had in Pryde's vicinity.

But two weeks later and the second meet was upon them. And this time, Hux got to do the kind of debate he was the most passionate about. Value debate.  
Pure improv. Doing what Hux considered himself to be best at. Coming up with random arguments and making them convincing. O, the marvelous art of bullshit. Truly, Hux was gifted.

And he was also put in the back with Kylo Ren at this tournament. Something about taller people needed the front seats of the transport. As if they couldn't just get a bigger transport.

So he sat as far away from Kylo as possible and made a distinct point not to come into contact with him at all.

Something that quickly proved difficult with the cramped seats of the back.

But on the bright side, the back seat was completely out of the view of the team coach. Meaning that he could read his fanfiction in peace.

Which Kylo decided to read over his shoulder.

"Whatcha reading, Percccccccy?" He was leaning entirely too close to Hux's ear. His weird lemon breathe was going to mess up Hux's hair. He was basically crooning in his ear.

Which was very uncomfortable.

So Hux turned away from him again and continued reading. After turning down his datapad's brightness, of course.

By the time they were at the tournament's location, Hux had his legs up on the back of the seat and he had achieved a Kylo Ren level slouch.

Also Ren was quite possibly staring at his ass.

Which Hux was totally fine with for some reason.

"You know, I'm pretty sad." Kylo leaned in a little too close again, warm breathe ghosting over the shell of Hux's ear.

Hux schooled his face into cold, careful indifference. "Why's that?"

"It's no nut November." Kylo laughed a little, bony shoulders spasming.

Hux wasn't sure how he wanted to take that statement. Was Kylo flirting with him? (No, impossible, he was straighter than the pole Hux's mother danced on) Was he looking for a a segway into talking about girls again? (Not something Hux was in the mood for. He like girls just fine - he had even dated a few and was still on good terms with his most recent ex - but Hux didn't like pretending to be straight, not around Ren)

"Why, got a hot girl you're sexting?" Hux tried to come across sarcastic and scathing, but he rather felt that his voice came out small, pathetic and a little desperate.

Kylo flashed him what could only be described as a confused look. "No. Why would you think that?"

"I'm assuming you want it to be December so that you can masturbate to girls again."

"Not at all." Kylo looked away before hurriedly changing the subject. "You seem rather comfortable. I never thought I would see the day that Armitage Percival Hux would slouch."

A very clumsy subject change.

Suspicious.

But Hux wasn't dumb enough to hope. No, after the incident with Jade a few years back he would never again fall for a straight boy. "I wasn't aware you knew my first name."

Not the most graceful deflection but it was effective.

"Well I do. And now," Kylo smiled gleefully, his eyes alight with mischief, "I just have to find out which annoys you more. Being called Percy or being called Armitage."

Hux looked out the window. For all his burning hatred of his first name, hearing it come from Kylo's lips made it not so bad.

The pool water was too cold.

And the hot tub was too warm.

And Hux was hungry. His stomach writhed and growled. His intestines twisted like snake, searching desperately for the sustenance Hux had denied them in favor of watching anime over dinner. He wasn't sure why he had decided to do that. Perhaps he had foolishly hoped to distact from the conversation he and Ren had on the way to get food with his coach.

Hux liked boys. Hux also liked girls. But Hux was also definitely asexual. Not that he wouldn't have sex if someone that he loved and trusted wanted him to. But rather than he didn't experience feelings of sexual attraction to other humans.

This had proved difficult to explain to Ren.

Ren seemed to think sex was beautiful. Which Hux could get behind to a certain extent. It could be. It could be an act of love and vulnerability and appreciation that had beauty in it. But just say the act was a beautiful thing, regardless of circumstance, that was false.

So they had agreed to disagree.

Now Hux slid into the hot water, deciding that with the onset of winter on this planet, he would rather boil than freeze, and pressed himself into a wall, putting as much space as possible between him and the other competitors from another school that had taken over the entire pool.

Of course, as Hux cringed away from some of the water being splashed by the rowdy rivals, Ren chose to walk in.

He was wearing a shirt (wow, modestly - Hux was genuinely surprised) but his shirt was tight and Hux could see every detail of his thin, defined chest.

And then he took it off. And Hux almost choked.

Not for a sexual reason, no, he was just surprised that Ren had freckles. A lot of them. All over his moon pale shoulders. His skin was space white and whether or not Kylo's emo self had ever seen the sun would be an interesting topic to debate but somehow, he had freckles.

Not that Hux though anything of it. Not at all.

They screwed around in the pool for almost two hours, Hux and Ren. One might almost believe they were friends.

Water was splashed, wrestling was done and Hux's normally perfect ginger hair was messy and spilling into his eyes.

Which Ren had the nerve to call a 'nice color'.

Hux's sleep was plagued by the memory of Ren's skin of his own that night.

The meet went fine, Hux supposed. He won two rounds and hugged a cute girl with two toned lime green and black hair after his last round. And he got to watch Ren's last round.

Ren should have won, Hux figured. For an emo, he sure was a smooth talker, loud, concise and reasonably organized despite his meager chicken scratch notes. But it didn't matter whether or not he won because Hux swore something changed when Ren met his eyes half way through his speech.

To his credit, Hux did not blush.

The ride back was long - longer than it should have been because there was a meteor belt in the way of their route home and his coach didn't know how to drive. Which was fine because it meant he got to sit in close darkness with Ren.

They talked about anime. Or rather Hux talked about anime.

Talked was too kind a word.

Hux analyzed his favorite anime in detail, describing first the ones he had seen more recently and then his top recommendations. How on earth Ren had managed to make the mistake of letting Hux talk about anime was anyone's guess.

Hux made the mistake of mentioning that anime was his escape. And Ren, ever the thoughtful emo, asked him from what.

He asked him yes, but perhaps the most interesting thing was how kindly he did so.

"My parents."

"Ah, are they controlling or just mean?"

"Controlling."

"Figures."

"How so?"

"Look at you. Model student, impeccable appearance, always a perfectionist. Clearly conditioned by years of control."

"How would you know?"

"I have my own shitty family at home, you know."

"I didn't know. I'm really sorry."

"Don't be." Ren smiled coldly, his face hidden in the darkness of the transport, shielded by the lightlessness of space. "It's gotten better since I move in with my dad anyway."

I sighed. At least his parents had the good sense to get a divorce. "Ah. My parents stay together. They really shouldn't. They hate each other. And they take it out on me because my sister is 'too fragile." Too much. I opened up too much.

But Ren smiled with something soft and akin to sympathy. "That really sucks."

"... Yeah."

The next day, Ren's profile picture in the school system was changed to L Lawliet from Death Note.


	3. Friends?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hux realizes maybe he doesn't hate Ren all that much.
> 
> And it's all thanks to the power of anime. (And maybe God.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love them! And yes, this is totally based of personal experience.

Ren had sent him a picture of L.

Ren had changed his profile picture to L.

Ren had actually taken Hux's suggestions to heart and watched some anime. Or, as it turned out after a chaotic and rushed message that bled too much delight for Hux's taste, Ren had watched the entirety of Death Note in the day and a half since returning from the meet.

Yep, Hux was totally in love.

It may have made his day.

Or actually, his entire week.

He, Armitage Percival Hux had successfully gotten Ren to watch and ENJOY anime. To the point of broadcasting it. Which was funny because he had dissed Hux for being a weeb just days earlier.

Hux wasn't complaining. He had his glowing little secret and life was good. And he now had a good reason to message Ren in class. And get replies.

So four weeks later, when Ren didn't show up to school for two whole days, Hux was a little worried. With Han being a teacher at the Academy, it didn't make sense that Ren would miss school. Or worse, that he would miss debate practice the week before the meet. It was inconceivable.

Oh, he was just sick.

And seeing as he missed practice, Hux, being the good friend (?) and mentor that he was, offered to stay after school the day before the competition and help Ren practice for the upcoming tournament. So they stayed after school in the hallway outside of the teacher's offices and practiced. Or rather, they did one round that Hux definitively won and Hux gave Ren five solid minutes of advice before looking at hentai memes.

(Non-explicit hentai memes, calm down)

Hux could have stayed there forever, leaning really close to Ren's shoulder, breathe stirring Ren's impossibly fluffy emo hair, feeling the warm aura around Ren's body. He would never admit how much he liked their proximity. Never.

But he sure did.

The ride up to the tournament was uneventful. Hux stared into space with his music echoing in his ears and Ren watched Soul Eater on his newly returned datapad. Dinner was also uneventful. Delicious.

Except for the fact that every time Hux tried to look at Ren, Pryde would tap his shoulder and show him memes, as if trying to distract him. Strange.

It was just Ren and Hux in the pool that night. Hux had finally gotten new glasses but wasn't able to wear them in the pool area because of the steam. So he was squinting something mighty when Ren walked in, completely unable to see his friend (!).

They just sat in the hot tub for a while, feet dangling and tension thick enough to cut with a knife between them.

Ren leaned forward and placed the top part of his hair in the pool before flipping a long stream of water at Hux. Unfortunately for Hux, he had just gotten a haircut and flipping water with his short ginger locks was going to prove difficult. So he splashed with his hands.

Ren ran away and jumped into the kidney bean shaped pool with a resounding splash. That was when he discovered that Hux could swim. Well. It was just another skill his parents had insisted on hims honed as a 'secret to success' but had ended up being a great release for him back home.

By the time room check rolled around, Ren and Hux managed to put two chair and a table in the pool, much to the chagrin of their coach. (And somehow, they weren't even spared a blink by the high AF mf that walked in halfway through submerging the table.)

The next day promised to be bright. The planet they were on was snowy and bright, a little bit of clear dove grey sunlight filtering through the clouds to them as they walked in to compete. Unfortunately (or perhaps for the better) Ren was doing rounds at the same time as Hux and wouldn't be there to look disgustingly cute.

On the other hand, he was waiting for Hux outside of rounds, the perfect subject for a blow by blow breakdown of Hux's perceived performance. They walked back to the table with their hands just barely brushing.

Hux watched anime. A lot of it. Attack on Titan was an old favorite and the perfect subject for a mid competition binge. And Ren, bless his annoying little heart, kept pausing and playing Hux's anime out of boredom (or possibly just a need for attention) And Pryde kept taking the seat between them every time Ren so much as shifted his legs.

So when their coach sent them to work rebuttal speeches, Hux was more than a little grateful for the break. Not that he actually did work. Ren had a curious ability to make him want to do nothing and that was how they ended up skating around the school in their socks in the name of 'exploring'.

Ren's feet were an ungodly large size. So where his hands. Hux wasn't sure what to make of that detail. Not that he believed any genitalia related myths about their size but it was interesting all the same.

The next night proved to be too snowy for leaving the planet so they ended up at another lodge for the night. The pool was warmer here, and older, built in a more normal square shape. He and Pryde wrestled some and he ended up with his arms wrapped around Ren's slim waist and their faces inches apart as they roughhoused in the pool.

Embarrassing.

Armitage Percival Hux caught in the act of being childish.

But perhaps it was okay to simply be a teenage boy sometimes.


	4. Definitely friends

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ren is maybe flirting with Hux. Maybe a little.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay time to turn on the mutual gay shit. Not sure how much longer this will be but I was seized by the need to write so here you are.

Hux was pining.

He was totally pining.

Ren had been playing with his feet at the last practice. Ren had untied his shoelaces with his own feet for God's sake.

Ren was going to be the death of one Percival Hux.

Percy.

The winter break that split the school year in two was going to be a long one. The vague promise of a meet at the end of the two weeks wasn't nearly enough to console him to the separation from Ren.

Hux couldn't believe himself sometimes. He really was turning into a needy bitch.

Something had to be done about this damned crush.

But when the morning of the meet dawned and he found himself letting Kylo into the school building to grab his data pad, he couldn't keep his heart from hiccuping. This was ridiculous.

And so was Kylo Ren's music taste, as he found out shortly thereafter. He should never be allowed to have a speaker again. Dubstep was sin and a curse on the galaxy and Hux would be damned to hell before he ever let Ren play that shit again.

Hux was a little less mad, he supposed, after his rounds were over. He had his two ribbons (one from the previous meet, where Ren had won his first round - much to Hux's joy and resultant congratulations and Hux had taken fourth place, and the other from this meet) He was also a little less mad after spending the evening in the pool with Ren.

Something about missing room check and getting in trouble with someone for it could really bond two people together.

The ride back was fun. Ren sat across from him at the restaurant they stopped at for dinner. Ren played with his feet under the table. Ren stole little bits from his salad and ate them. Ren made Hux want to run away with him and never come back.

It was fun, Hux supposed, to be an immature little child sometimes. Which was the only thing he could describe himself and his behavior as when he stuck his socked toe into Pryde's ear as he slept for the third time.

This was entirely too much fun.

"Say, Percy, are you ticklish?" Ren was toying with Hux's bare calf, longer pale fingers ghosting along Hux's freshly shaved skin.

"Not particularly. Why?"

Ren squeeze his calf a little then, making him jolt a bit in his seat. That was strange.

"Your calves are really soft. They kinda feel like tits."

"That's gross, Ren. Stop playing with my calves please." Hux wanted to be annoyed.

But he also wanted to memorize the feeling of Ren's hands on his skin.

Ren put one of his large hands on Hux's thigh then and gently pushed up his shorts. "You are really pale, you know that?"

Hux tensed his leg at this and then almost laughed at the aghast expression on Kylo's face at the feeling of the muscle under his skin. "What, you didn't think I was weak did you?"

Kylo looked away at that, moving his hand back to Hux's calf. They stayed like that for the rest of the trip.

Hux knew it then, as he watched Ren walk away. He was in deep shit.


	5. Just Friends....

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The state competition is a big deal.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning for eating disorder behaviors and some homophobia.

His teammates claimed that Ren looked up to him.

The nerve. As if. Ren might have finally heeded his power and taken the healthy dose of respect that Hux had been trying to instill in him since day one. He might even be willing to listen and learn from Hux's teaching.

But to say he looked up to Hux, simply because he had watched anime when Hux suggested it, that was utterly ridiculous.

And to claim that Hux was kinder around him. Kinder to him. Utterly absurd. Hux might have a little problem. He might have found the suggestion flattering. But to say he was going soft around Ren was hard praise to take.

Very hard indeed.

They left for state that morning. Hux had long since stopped forcing the space between himself and Ren, had long since given into to his subconscious desire to be near Ren. But he would never outright lean into him the way Ren was leaning into Hux.

Then again, the fact that they had to drop off Pryde's little sister on their way to the tournament and the girl had to sit in the back with Ren and Hux may have contibuted. Ren's whole body was pressed against Hux's side and Hux was certain his face was on fire.

Traitorous ginger.

He would not - would never - let himself blush in the presence of Ren. But here he was, his damn face doing it anyway.

Thank god they let the girl off at the next stop.

Ren wanted to monologue about his childhood with his mom. His famous, powerful and apparently rather deadbeat mom. If Ren was to be believed, his childhood time was spent in one of two ways - running rampant around the planet Naboo at his mom's massive summer property, or being schooled in the ways of the Jedi and diplomacy.

Apparently, if Ren was to be believed, he was also Force sensitive and would be sent to learn under Luke Skywalker himself after he graduated the Academy.

Preposterous.

But not unbelievable, given Ren's bloodline.

Hux just sort of hmmmmed where it seemed appropriate. He wasn't really sure how to take the whole backstory monologue thing.

But he was perfectly happy to help Ren with his art homework. If it meant he got to touch Kylo's hands as he guided him through the drawing he would help Kylo do anything. He really was a desperate bastard.

Lunch was at a pizza place. And one of his teammates had the gumption to ask him if the reason he always got a small, vegan salad was because of an eating disorder.

As if his parents controllingness wasn't an answer to that question.

But it was a good salad all the same.

Especially since Ren's leg touched his the entire time he was eating it.

The back of the classroom was cold and hard but Ren's leg against his was not. They were watching one of the senior debater's rounds (since Ren was in a different event and Hux had a bye) and Hux couldn't for the life of him stop giggling.

Ren had made a joke about the judge being fat and the chair being about to give way. And then he made a joke about the chair being about to give way anyway.

And now Hux was laughing at every creak of the chairs.

He was giggling like a loon and he couldn't seem to stop. This was highly undignified.


	6. Still Not Lovers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ren and Hux do cute stuff. Like cuddling. Uh oh.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, I am drawing this out thanks for asking. I'm trying to provide lots of material because lets be real. I won't update for like a year after this.

The first round that Hux debated went awful. He talked too fast and he was disorganized and he kept looked at Ren's expectant face and wanting to die. He was letting him down. He had let Ren spectate his round and now he was doing awful. Some role model.

Ren didn't even bother to sugar coat it at the end. "You kept stopping and starting really suddenly. You talked like my grandma drives."

Hux decided not to point out that Ren's grandmother was dead and had been for several decades.

Instead he groaned, letting out all the disappointment he felt in himself. "God, that was awful. That went sooo bad."

Ren hurried to smooth the hurt. "It wasn't as bad as you thought it was, i swear."

"It was bad.....I shouldn't have had caffeine. I'm so tired." Hux tried to keep in his yawn at that, coving his mouth with his sleeve.

At least his tie was red silk and very nice. Delegate's clothes.

The hotel had nice couches, he would give it that. And holding the door for Ren made him feel like a good person for once. They twined their legs together on the couch as they waited for their coach to give them the room keys. Hux could have fallen asleep like that, legs pressed against Kylo's, firm couch and contrastingly soft pillows pressed against his back.

Hux didn't have dinner that night. He simply went into his room and watched anime (Junji Ito's Collection) until he passed out.

They played Uno around the breakfast table the next morning with a couple of kids from another school. Ren didn't play but he did look over Hux's shoulder at his cards.

Hux debated his best that day. The best he had ever done. He won two rounds and his team agreed he should have won the third. He made it to quarterfinals. Making him one of the top 8 competitors in the galaxy.

Going into rounds meant facing his fears.  
Fear.

And that fear was looking Kylo Ren in the eyes. Yet somehow, that day, it gave him strength.

The ribbon was blue.

Kylo Ren sat next to him when they spectated the last value debate round. The final. The topic was a killer and for once, Hux was glad he hadn't done value debate.

Ren was next to him. Ren's foot was on top of his. Ren's hair was within reach.

So Hux reached out and touched Ren's hair.

Of course it was soft.

Fucking emos and their kriffing conditioner.

Ren let him put up his hair after the round. Hux relished the feeling of the silky, thick strands in his fingers. Ren hadn't cut his hair since the start of the season and it was long enough to make a wonderful ponytail.

"Do I look gay?" The look Ren gave Hux after Hux finished with his hair could be described as nothing but puppy eyes. He was adorable.

"No. You kind of look like a girl though." Hux smiled at Ren, unable to contain his self assured smirk. Unable to contain the softness in his gaze.

Ren pulled out his data pad examining himself in the reflection. "Not bad! I could fuck with this!". He walked into the awards ceremony like that. And he sat next to Hux out of all people.

The moment that Hux hear his name - his name, not Armitage, but Percival, - was the proudest of his life. He had switched events last moment and still proven that he was as good as, no better than, the debaters who had been on the team years longer than him. He was the winner. HE was good at debate. And he had just proved it in front of the entire galaxy.

Pryde was kneeling on the floor, snapping pictures of Hux's moment of triumph with his data pad. Kneeling, just as he should be. Kneeling at the feet of his future leader.

It was then that Hux knew - he wanted to be an officer someday. Part of him longed for a quiet life of science, just has he had since childhood. But a part of him, a much louder part of him, wanted to lead. Wanted to dominant.

(How dare those losers in his art class call him a bottom).

Hux took his seat next to Ren with triumph - the hero returning from his conquest. He was a champion. And he was now worthy of Ren's respect.

Of course, his hour of triumph didn't last long. One of his ballots from the last round was so brutal his coach almost didn't show him and he was reduced to a depressed mess by the end of reading it.

So he went feral in the pool to make up for it.

He played monkey in the middle with Pryde's hat. He wrestled with Pryde and Ren for said hat. He ran a half mile sprint on a treadmill dripping wet. He did the splits in front of his entire team.

He went feral.

It was an entertaining experience.

He and Ren ended up being banished to their rooms and threatened with expulsion from the team after racing up and down the hotel halls throwing vending machine ice at each other. He went to bed happy and content, at the very least, for the first time in a long time.

The next day was the ride back. He could feel that tension again when he said hi to Ren over breakfast, as if something was strained between them. There was no particular reason beyond his own awkwardness but it hurt all the same.

It also dissipated quickly once they got in the car and had a good go at one of their teammates for not putting on deodorizer and played Fallout 4 for a couple of hours.

He almost slammed into Ren at the gas station a couple of times and them made a couple of condom jokes and got the hell over it.

Ren purchased some ice at the gas station and decided that today was a fine time to practice his spitball aim with ice.

On Hux.

And while Hux would be damned before he would ever admit it, the sting of the ice on his skin felt pretty nice.

Ren was sitting in his lap. Somehow, during all of this, Ren's head had ended up between Hux's legs and his face was pillowed against Hux's thigh.

And he was still shooting ice at Hux's face. Specifically Hux's mouth.

And then he stopped. "This angle's too hard. I can't aim properly." He put down his ice cup and just stared up at Hux. Hux made a point of looking away at first, unwilling to meet Ren's eyes when Ren's head was between his legs.

And then Hux looked down.

Hux had always assumed that Ren's eyes were brown. They looked brown. But with a little light from a star they were passing before jumping to hyperspace caught directly on Ren's eyes, Hux could see the little bits of green in them. It was a forest green, neither very clear nor bright but beautiful all the same. His eyes reminded Hux of a distant childhood running through forest kingdoms in his mind.

He also had freckles. His moon pale skin was flooded with them, little almost invisible pinpricks of color on his translucent skin.

And with Ren staring into Hux's eyes and Hux staring back, the only thought in Hux's head was "Kriff, he's adorable."

It was too late for Armitage Percival Hux.

By the end of the trip, Ren had sat up (after complementing Hux's thighs on making a great pillow) and their legs were now tangled together.  
Ren had put one leg across Hux's lap and Hux had place another on Ren's leading to the stacking their legs against one another. They stayed like this until the transport rolled to a stop on their home planet, far far away from Coruscant.

Of course Pryde gave the both of them a strange look as they distangled themselves and rose stiffly from the confines of the transport.

But Hux couldn't give a fuck.


	7. The Secret's Out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hux decides to confide his problem with his dear friend Phasma.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not sure how much I am actually going to write for a while after this - I had a sudden burst of inspiration and wrote all morning and now I'm drawing a blank.

"Hey, Phasma, I need your help."

Phasma sighed and turned around. Her short platinum blonde hair fluffed up around her face as she glared at Hux.

An expression he was all to familiar with.

"What??"

"You needn't sound so annoyed. I just might..... I might have a crush on someone, okay?" Hux blinked, looking Phasma in the eyes for the first time. "Wait, hold on, when did you cut your hair?"

"Recently. Don't change the subject." Phasma flipped her short hair out of her face (not that it was in her face to begin with) and turned to fully face Hux. "Spill."

Hux took a deep breathe, feeling all the blood in his entire body rush to his face. "Okay, so you know the freshman on the debate team this year?"

Phasma's face light up almost imperceptibly. "Yes. The emo one, right?"

"I might have a c-... cru-.... a crush on him...." The words didn't come out with the smooth practiced detachment Hux would have liked.

Phasma's face fully lit up this time. "I KNEW IT!!"

"hOw??" Hux couldn't fathom how on Earth she could know that he liked Kylo. He hadn't so much as mentioned Kylo's name (more than once). He couldn't possibly be that kriffing obvious, could he?

How could he, Armitage Hux, be so reduced to a blushing mess. He wasn't even confessing for God's sake. There was no reason to lose his composure. There was no reason to fall apart over confiding in a friend.

Of course, the fact that he never confided in anyone might have contributed to his overwhelming embarrassment.

That was besides the point.

Hux sighed. "Well, I need your help. I may have called him cute. Twice."

"Wait, to his face? No way."

Hux turned, if possible, even redder and more embarrassed. "No, I'm too cowardly for that."

"So through email? Is that why you were on your datapad all day yesterday in class?"

"...Yes."

"Tell. Me. Everything."

Hux took a deep breathe, decided which pieces to omit. There was no way he would tell anyone, not even his best friend, all the deep dark details of his crush on some emo freshman. No kriffing way.

So he kept it simple.

Sort of.

"Well we were on the way back from the big Galatic tournament, and we were sitting in the back together and his head ended up on my lap and he was looking up at me and I was looking down at him and my only thought was 'kriff, he's adorable' and now every time I see him my heart does that stupid little fluttery thing and I just .... can't."

The words came out in a cluttered rush, falling from his mouth like water. But it felt good to tell someone. So good that he started smiling. Waaay too much.

"The thing is, I'm not even sure why I like him." Hux grinned a little wider, his mouth feeling like it would split. Why was it so damn good to tell someone a secret? "He has freckles, did you know he has freckles, isn't that the cutest?"

Phasma laughed a little. "Calm down, Hux. We are in the middle of class. This is no time to be a raging homosexual."

"Phasma, that's the best way to describe me right now. A raging homosexual."

Hux smiled all through class that day.


	8. Is it still Platonic?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hux and Ren decide to hang out and watch anime.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Haven't decided if this fanfic has a happy or a sad ending. Might just make Hux pine forever ehehe. TW for homophobia.

Kylo had agreed to hang out with him.

Just the two of them. Alone. At the library.

Sure, all they were doing was watching anime but Hux couldn't help but be excited by the prospect. The simple reality that Kylo had even said yes to hanging out with him set Hux's gay little heart all aflutter.

So early on Saturday morning the day after Valentine's, Brendol dropped Hux off at the library.

But not before Brendol accused him of being gay and then went on a long rant about how disgusting gay people were. To quote "Gay people are a foul stain on this galaxy. It's simply wrong, being attracted to the same gender. It's disgusting."

Brendol was the worst. And Hux, usually so collected (or at the very least, in control of his emotions) was on the verge of tears.

He pushed the library door open a little harder than necessary, hand flexing and unflexing angerly strangling a phantom object. His eyes were prickling and his breathing was shallow and quick.

And then he saw Ren. And almost cried.

Hux wasn't sure why the sight of Ren made him want to cry. Maybe it was the haircut Ren had apparently gotten. It was shorter, with the shag that normally hung around his neck and ears shaved away into a haircut that was closer to regulation.

Which only made Hux more self conscious of his own overgrown hair, long overdue for a haircut.

Of course Ren looked beautiful. He always did. His face was no longer framed by his hair but rather shaded by it and he was still as beautiful as ever. But Ren looked different and for some reason Hux felt betrayed.

Damn teen hormones.

"Are you okay? You seem ticked." Ren frowned a little at Hux, concern crossing his face as he took in Hux's distressed state and wild eyes.

Hux stalked forward, trying his best to calm down. It was fine now, Ren was here, Ren didn't hate him, Brendol couldn't hurt them.

He borderline slammed his datapad on the table and whipped it open.

His hand was still flexing aggressively at his side, anger coursing through his blood, hotter than lava and clouding his vision. Normally such a good actor, Hux couldn't seem to cover his flaming emotions for the life of him.

Ren reached out, placing his hand over Hux's writhing fingers. "It's okay, man. I don't know what happened but it's fine. Calm down."

Ren was terrible at being comforting. At least Hux's anger covered the blush that spread across his ears and face at the contact from Ren.

The rage seeped out of him as he focused on the sensation of Ren's hand on his own. It was fine.

Really.

Hux pulled up his favorite anime streaming site and opened the link for Psycho Pass season 1. He plugged in his headphones and held out one earbud to Kylo. "Ready?"

Kylo frowned. "Wait, we're just going to sit at the table and watch? Why not sit in the comfy chairs?" Ren waved one hand vaguely at the slouchy couch chairs in the middle of the reading area. "You know, those."

"We can't both fit in them and see the screen. It wouldn't work."

Kylo smiled a little and pushed Hux down into the chair. "Just sit."

"Wait! Be careful, you oaf! I could have dropped my datapad." Hux growled without any real menace at Ren. "This won't work." Hux tried to scoot to the edge of the chair, making as much room as possible for Ren.

"Move back where you were, dumbass." Ren's voice held no malice, simply teasing at Hux's inability to understand his plan.

Ren flopped down, moving to sit in Hux's lap.

Ren was kriffing HEAVY. For such a thin framed, wiry emo, Ren weighed a lot.

Hux shifted a little under him, moving so that Kylo was situated between his thighs instead of having his weight placed crushingly on top of them. "Better?"

"Better. Let's watch anime."

They were less than halfway through the first episode when Ren leaned back and placed his head on Hux's chest. His black hair was fluffed up by the static from Hux's shirt and bushed softly against Hux's chin. His shoulder blades were pressed into Hux's ribs.

Hux was trying his very hardest not to breathe too hard, for fear of making Ren uncomfortable. There was no way he could watch Psycho Pass now. Not while he could feel every breathe Ren took, feel the impossible heat from his body, the comforting weight of Ren's back pressed against his torso.

This was hell.

This was heaven.

Definately hell, Hux decided as his body became numb and stiff under Ren's weight. They were five episodes in to Psycho Pass at this point and Ren was too invested to hear a word about stopping to continue later. If it weren't for the library closing in an hour or so, Ren would likely have watched the whole thing right then and there.

Hux was having too much fun for a man who had already seen the anime and needed to pee impossibly bad.

Any amount of suffering was worth having Ren on his lap for even one more minute.

Hux was asleep. He thought. Everything was swimming around him and the world was too warm. He was falling, he was spinning.

He heard Brendol's voice.

And felt Ren shift against him for the first time in hours.

"HUX!! You're late!" Brendol sounded mad. He also sounded closer than before.

And then he woke up.

"Hux? You okay man? Sorry, I got really invested in the story. Is it okay if I finish it without you?" Ren was standing in front of him, looking at him with concern.

"Mm, yeah, go ahead." Hux's voice was deep and slurred. He really had fallen asleep with Ren on his lap.

He stood up slowly, pausing to allow his body to stop spinning as everything went black. Ren was very close, it seemed. There was something next to his mouth, a little speck of something.

Hux absently reached out and brushed it away.

And then he checked the time. "My dad's here, I have to go." He smiled at Ren. "Let's hang out again sometime."

And then he turned and walked away, feeling the softest he every had. This was going too kriffing far and Hux had finally ceased to care.

Had he turned back, he might have seen a slightly shell shocked Ren lightly touching the corner of his mouth while he stared after the back of Hux's tussled hair.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If anyone has ideas of where to go with this fic, I am open to suggestions! I will welcome any feedback on my writing - I didn't really edit/proofread any of this; I just felt the need to write. Thanks for reading this far!


	9. Uh Oh.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hux has an embarrassing dream.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hux is ace and therefore he doesn't have wet dreams. Don't come at me, that's my logic.

Kylo Ren was flirting with him, Hux was sure of it.

He had been winking at Hux all day during rounds. He had blow Hux a kiss twice. He was totally flirting.

Part of Hux was sure this was a dream - after all, Kylo Ren was very straight. But most of Hux really didn't care.

This was great.

"Come here, Percy." The logical part of Hux wanted to say no, to tell Ren this was a bad idea, to listen to his instincts and wake up from what was certainly a dream. To wake up before he felt the tears and desperation that came from finding out the coming of his greatest wish was only a figment of his imagination.

But Hux didn't care. At all.

Kylo Ren's hand, somehow much larger than it was in real life, was warm and gentle in his as they walked, or rather glided down the halls of the unfamiliar school. Given that the human mind generally couldn't think of things that it hadn't already seen, this was strange to Hux. Perhaps this was the setting of some grade school competition that he had forgotten about.

But the setting didn't really matter, not when the content was this good.

Hux wasn't sure exactly how it happened but Kylo Ren had him pressed against a deserted hallway's wall. Kylo Ren's face was uncomfortably close to his. Kylo Ren's warm form, somehow much realer and heavier than the rest of the dreamy fog around Hux, was pressed against his. Hux could feel his breathe across his face, could sense the slightest quickening of Ren's breathing.

And then Ren was kissing him. Just the smallest, softest kiss, a brush of lips on lips. Ren's full mouth was unexpectedly warm and dry, as if he were as nervous as Hux himself. For someone who was apparently a fuck boy and a self proclaimed smooth motherfucker, Kylo was seemingly just as shy as Hux himself.

Hux wanted to think Kylo was holding back for his benefit. Hux wanted to believe that Kylo wasn't sure of how far he wanted to go, being ace, and was adjusting accordingly.

But the idea that he scared Kylo as much as Kylo scared him was appealing.

The idea that Kylo really had emotions beyond the primal need to have sex, and cared for people on a deeper level than physical passion excited Hux in a way he couldn't explain. Not a turned on sexual way, not the usual pleasant flutters of a crush but a satisfaction that he really couldn't put into words.

Holy hell, he was kissing Kylo Ren.

The magic of the moment passed in an instant and Hux burried one hand in the down soft waves of Kylo's hair. In response, Kylo sighed against Hux's clothed mouth, his warm lips parting just a little.

Just as their kiss began to deepen.... Hux woke up and immediately felt his face go red as a tomato. That was the lewdest dream he had ever had (yes, Hux had made out with people before. But this was the first time he had dreamed of doing such a thing. This was the closest he had ever come to a wet dream and he was thoroughly embarrassed about it.)

And to top it all off, Hux had to go to school and see Kylo today. He had to exchange his brief pleasantries as if nothing had happened the night before. Which in a way, nothing had. Hux felt ashamed all the same. Perhaps the most damning thing was just how much he wanted to dream it all again. And not be woken halfway through.

Hux was in far too deep for his liking.

For fuck's sake, he was dreaming very shameful things about Kylo. A freshman and a boy he was barely willing to admit his crush on in the first place. And he'd had a wet dream about him. (Well, the closest thing poor asexual Hux had ever come to a wet dream, that was.)

School was going to be hell. Especially if Brendol noticed something was off. Which he always did. And he was never shy about exploiting gaps in Hux's armor.

"So. You hung out with a boy on Saturday. Alone" Brendol's gaze was cold, appraising, and too knowing for Hux's taste.

"Yes, father, I did. What of it?"

Perhaps that was a little too fearful and self conscious of Hux. As if he was hiding something. Kriff.

"I do hope you know that if you were to engage in any kind of non-platonic relationship with another man, I would kick you out."

Hux wasn't so sure that would be a bad thing. Kriff, maybe he and Ren could run away from their awful families together and tough it out side by side.

Enough of that, he had an angry, homophobic, and overly knowing father to deal with.

"Of course, Father. I completely understand. I have no romantic interest in men, as you well know."

Brendol turned away at this. Still suspicious but less terrifying, at least.

"Good."

Hux knew his smile at Ren was strained. He knew his greeting came out stiff and false. It wasn't his fault. He was embarrassed and detachment was the only way to keep the shame off his face. He couldn't ever let Ren know he had dreamed of making out with him. Ren was straight as hell and they were barely even friends, for crying out loud.

It simply wasn't to be shared.

Ren himself seemed to be blushing as they parted ways to go to morning classes. Strange. But not noteworthy, in Hux's opinion.

Dopheld Mitaka wanted to talk to Hux. For some reason, this scared Hux quite a lot. Mitaka was a close friend of Ren's and for a moment, Hux was scared that Phasma had blabbed and he would now be chewed out for 'chasing a straight boy' and this time by one of the school's most notorious bullies.

Yes, in Hux's mind, he was well and truly fucked.

So obviously, the curious and congenial tone of Mitaka's next words threw him for a loop.

"Do you know Kylo Ren at all, Hux?" Mitaka seemed to simply want to ask a question.

"Not well, no. Why?" Hux did his best to look pleasantly confused, an expression that felt almost natural after the number of times he had painted it on his face for his father.

"Oh. Well, he mentioned you a couple times is all. And he keeps looking at you in the halls."

"Oh?"

"Yeah, I was wondering if there was something going on between you but he wouldn't tell me so I figured a stickler like you would."

Ouch.

"No, I really don't know him well, Can't tell you anything interesting I'm afraid." Hux moved to leave the conversation, already eager to reach the sanctuary of his next class.

Mitaka threw out an arm. Not enough to truly block Hux's escape but enough to make a point. "Don't mess with my boys. We will fuck you up."

Mitaka's strut down the hallway did nothing to ease the sudden surge of fear in Hux. Why would Mitaka threaten him? He had never spoken to the freshman. He was totally unaware that Mitaka even knew him.

Hux decided the only thing to do after school to forget the unfortunate mess that had been that day of school was to head to the gym and work out.

Hux loved to swim with all of his heart. Nothing relaxed him more than slipping into the cool waves and then swimming until his shoulders burned and his thighs felt like limp noodles. He did it every time he felt like shit and it had never failed to save him.

Prehaps working out until he could barely walk wasn't the best coping mechanism but Hux was still alive and well and he had a fit body on top of that, so he didn't see a problem.

Unfortunately for him, after getting out of the pool and walking to the spa, his ginger hair limp and pasted to his head in a coppery sheet, he almost walked into someone. (I mean, what's he going to do, swim with his glasses on?)

And that someone was Kylo Ren. Who apparently worked out in very tight swim shorts. Very tight indeed. Hux, rather than finding this attractive, found this distinctly uncomfortable.

What was perhaps more uncomfortable was the utter shock pasted on Ren's face as he took in the sight of Hux, mostly naked, dripping wet, completely free of glasses, hair gel and any semblance of controlled decency. Kylo Ren was borderline gawking at Hux and for what reason he couldn't imagine.

"Hey, Kylo. Sorry I almost hit you. Not wearing my glasses, you know." Hux's embarrassed chuckled did nothing to soothe the situation. He was digging himself deeper and he knew it.

At that moment, Hux decided to abandon his goal of getting into the spa and soaking for a few minutes and simply turned to walk away.

The memory of Kylo's shocked, blushing face hung with him like a cancer as he rinsed off in the shower. He couldn't figure out the reason why. It wasn't like it was strange for him to work out at the same gym as everyone else. Hux's embarrasment was justified, he thought. After all, he had nearly run him over.

It was almost like seeing one's crush in public, the expression on Kylo's face. But Hux was not an attractive man and Kylo Ren was very, very straight.


	10. Hux's Eyes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hux wears eyeliner to school. OOp.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hux has green eyes. Because I said so.

Hux was certain that Kylo Ren was ignoring him. And this he found extraordinarily annoying.

Ren's refusal to return his greetings in the halls was irksome and rude. Ren's apparent inability to so much as smile at Hux was stinging and hurtful. Hux couldn't so much as meet Ren's eyes without Ren immediately finding somewhere else to look and this was downright obnoxious.

Hux wanted to be angry. But he was mostly just sad. And maybe a little hurt.

He just couldn't bring himself to be truly ticked off at Ren. After all, Ren probably hated him, just like everyone else in his life.

Hux wasn't a fool. He knew almost everything about him ruffled feathers. He had taken pride in that fact for years. But Hux was a lonely and isolated man. And the slightest taste of what could have become affection served as a reminder of that like no other.

So the morning after Hux had lain in bed for hours, feeling sorry for himself and drowning in his own self pity, body racked with silent, shaking sobs, was a rough one.

Hux was so out of it he didn't even notice that his shower was cold and he completely forgot (or perhaps subconsciously decided to forgo) gelling his hair. He simply stumbled out of the house and into his father's transport, eyes bloodshot and ginger hair floating around his head. He looked like a mess and he knew it.

But part of him didn't care.

Especially not when it prompted Ren to give him the longest look Hux had received in weeks. And a message that wasn't just a couple of no-further-conversation type words.

If Hux didn't know better, he would have said his rattled appearance had been a cause for concern to Kylo.

But Kylo couldn't give a shit about him, that Hux knew.

He was trying to keep his head down that day as he walked to class, trying to keep his shadowed and bloodshot eyes hidden from the world. For if there was one thing that years with his father had taught him, it was that cracks in his armor would never lead to anything good.

The world was too heavy, it seemed.

A warm heavy hand settled on top of his wild ginger hair, soft and comforting. And definitely not Phasma.

It was Kylo.

Kylo looked into his eyes for a long moment before giving his hair a little ruffle and then brushing past him on his way to class.

It was only afterwards that Hux thought of something strange. Ren had been looking down at him, just a little.

When did Kylo become taller than him?

Hux decided the only thing to cure his bout of predawn boredom was to experiment with the eyeliner he had bought on a whim at the clearance section.

Never a good idea but Hux prided himself on having steady hands. Hands that served him well in over lining his eyes until the only part of his face anyone could look at was his over sized green-grey eyes.

And oh how green they looked, outlined in black ink. Even his glasses, utilitarian as his frames were, couldn't detract from his striking irises.

Walking into school was nerve racking. He could feel everyone's eyes - everyone's judgement - on him as he stalked to his usual table. Imagined or not, he would never know. He knew he looked gay. He also knew he looked great.

So he continued with his day.

Kylo was talking to him.

In the hall.

While surrounded by his awful friends.

Kylo was acknowledging his existence with his awful bully friends right there.

W a c k.

"Hey, Percy!"

Hux turned to look in Kylo's direction, hardly believing it himself. Weeks of never speaking face to face in school and Kylo was calling out to him in the hall like they were old friends. With that nickname Hux so hated.

Or possibly loved. Solely because no one else called him Percy.

"What!?" Hux tried to sound like he was annoyed that this random freshman was calling out to him. But again, he couldn't find it in him to be angry.

"You look cute!" Kylo flashed that stupid little grin at Hux. Hux hadn't seen that smile since debate season ended. He had forgotten how much he missed it.

"Oh?"

"Kind of like an anime raccoon but cute!" Kylo was meeting his eyes. Kylo was calling him cute. In the hall. In front of his friends.

Hux was dead.


	11. The End and a Beginning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The debate season is finally over, awards have been handed out and Hux is tired of being a prep. (Also his dad's going to kill him lmao)

Spiderman: Far from Home was over and with it, the party that marked the end of the academy's debate season. Kylo was next to him in a chair (not even in his lap, how sad) and Hux hadn't so much as brushed his hand the entire time they had been there. He had simply watched the movie in peace beside him, trying his very best not to look over at Ren when Peter and MJ kissed. 

Hux finished off his seaweed snack and stood up, moving away from the gentle hand his coach reached out to him. There weren't tears in his eyes, totally not. But the prickling in his throat betrayed him. Hux knew this wasn't the end and that there would be another season. But he couldn't help but be sad all the same. 

He wouldn't have another good excuse to hang out around Ren for months. MONTHS. Hux wasn't sure how he would cope. Part of him was tempted to just make a move now, damn the consequences. But this was real life, not a fanfiction and unwarranted kissing was usually not well accepted in the real world.

Damn. Damn Ren for being so cute and funny and friendly. Damn him for making Hux a happier person. Damn him for helping Hux finally feel comfortable in his presence. Damn him for being so god damn STRAIGHT. 

Just a little gay. That's all Hux was asking. Why, oh why, was Ren so willing to get close to him as a friend, without ever considering that they could be more? 

It was the most frustrating thing, and not even a long workout at the gym the following morning could quite make Hux forget the pain of drifting away from Ren. No, the only thing he could do now was something stupid. And unforgettable. 

He was hanging out at Calisto's house that evening and they had agreed to go the arcade. And Hux was bored. So he shot Calisto one last message asking her to pick up some hair dye at Walmart on her way home. He was done with his father controlling his every move.

And a small part of him hoped that maybe Ren would notice and say something to him. 

Calisto's house smelled like weed and booze. But dump though it was, the free, do-what-you-want lifestyle that was Calisto's everyday was appealing in a grungey kind of way. They left quickly, meandering up the street in the fading daylight on their way to the gas station. 

Hux bought them both some energy drinks, drained the two Monsters he had purchased in less than 10 minutes and proceeded to lose a game of air hockey in under 3 minutes. But he couldn't deny that spending a weekend doing something other than studying was a good time. A great time, even. 

Calisto climbed down into the ditch beside the highway, scrambling clumsily through the weeds with Hux sliding down behind him. There was actually water in the storm drain this time of year, cold, brown and fast moving. 

"Dare me to climb into the pipe?" Calisto flick her hair at the massive metal tube that ran under the highway, at the icy water disappearing into the darkness. The pipe was more than tall enough for a human to stand up straight, almost 8 feet from top to bottom.

"Sure. Probably take off your shoes though." Hux didn't really care as long as he got have a good time and do something irrevocably stupid. So of course, he climbing into hte pipe after Calisto. 

Calisto brought edibles. They were strawberry flavored, and Hux ate three before Calisto told him to stop or risk death at her hands. It was almost half and hour before Hux felt anything and by that time, his ginger hair was stained inky black with cheap dye and his hairline was greased with Vaseline. 

Rinsing out the dye was the funniest thing ever to Hux for some reason. They were doing it in Calisto's kitchen sink, and black inky dye stained the sink and Hux's borrowed crop top. And the lukewarm water was incredibly tickly and amusing to Hux. He almost felt like he was dissociating, a little floaty and giggley, yet somehow more anchored and alive than ever.

His hair stood up in an inky cloud around his head once it was dried, fluffy and black as night. It was strange to look at, especially with his eyebrows still being bright red. But Hux liked it quite a lot. Maybe it was the weed, maybe it was the caffeine. But for once in his life, Hux wasn't afraid of anything.

They walked over to the playground beside the primary school down the street after Hux's hair was totally dried. Calisto's gothic makeup made her face look haunting and hollowed out in the distant light from the streetlamps, eerie and lovely. 

Or maybe Hux was just high. 

A small thought crept into his head, a little inkling of 'wow, I wish Kylo were here'. Hux tried to drive it away, climbing and swinging and acting like a child in a way he never had before. It wasn't like the chance to play was something that his father had given him as a kid. 

Jumping off of the top of the climbing wall was the most scary and disorienting thing that Hux had ever done. For a moment, he was convinced that he would pitch forward and be swallowed by the ground. But while his landing was ungainly and harsh, he was fine. 

Better than fine. He could have sworn that he would fly off of the swing. Giggling and kicking, he squirmed in his seat, trying desperately to slow down the impossible speed of the swing. 

Funny, somehow in the dark his dad didn't see his hair on the way home. And that was how Hux got up to his room, high off his ass with his hair freshly dyed without so much as an inkling of suspicion from his father. _Vibin._

He opened his laptop, blurred out vision struggling to focus on the screen, despite his glasses being taken off to see the close screen better. There was an email from Kylo, a reply to a question that Hux had asked on a whim of random curiousity days before. 

Despite himself, Hux's heart leapt into his throat, heart hammering as he considered replying. 

He actually asked Calisto what to send him in a fit of high fear. 

_Hux: Oh. my. god. there's and email from KYLO. What do I say? I don't trust my judgement while high._

_Calisto: LMAO bro, chill out. Send him this._

Calisto sent him a meme of some kind a picture of a wizard with the words 'skiddadle skiddoddle, the person reading this is beautiful.'

And Hux's high ass brain went _Perfect._ So he sent Kylo the picture and waited with his heart jumping into his throat violently. It wasn't like he had never flirted before. And even if Kylo didn't like it, he had an excuse. He was high. There was always a way out. He didn't know why he was freaking out. But he sure was. 

Kylo replied with a simply 'awe, thanks you!'. Hux could feel himself simultaneously calming down and losing his shit on a whole new level. This was not okay for Hux's poor heart. He had make a mistake. 

But Calisto assured him that Kylo was fine with it. And they told him that not only was she high but also that asking out Kylo was a great idea.

Even high off his ass, Hux knew _that_ was a bad idea. 

But Kylo's curious eyes on him the following day at school made him feel just a little better about his decision. Despite the fact that Kylo did not, in fact, come talk to him as he hoped. He was happy.

His father didn't even kill him. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! Please don't be mad that I had Hux dye his hair! I just thought it would be a fun thing to write about and an interesting plot device to a. get Ren's attention and b. develop Hux's character.


	12. Eye Contact

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hux and Ren make a bunch of awkward eye contact. Also Hux can draw.

Hux dreamed of Ren's eyes again. Maybe it was the pictures.

His coach had sent out all the pictures from the past debate season and while part of Hux wanted to cry, a far larger part of him was enjoying the hundreds of pictures of Ren. Including the one where he and Ren had been eating dinner (and also breakfast - there were several) across from one another. 

One could almost convince themself there was something beyond tentative friendship between them. Not that there was, of course, but Hux was sustaining himself on hopeless fantasies anyway, what was one more. 

God, he was hopeless.

Something that Phasma did not hesitate to tell him (although he had to listen to her own pining in exchange for the frank advice). To repeat her words, he had it bad. 

Very bad. 

To the point where he slaved over a colored pencil drawing of Kylo's eyes in his kitchen at 2am. The end result was perfect, dark brown eyes and milky skin staring back and him in the perfect likeness of Ren's unholy peepers. But drawing someone's eyes in your kitchen at 2 am is very homo, no matter how good the reference makes them turn out.

Oh, how Ren would react if he ever knew that Hux had drawn his eyes at 2 am. 

But on the bright side, Hux now had numerous pictures of Ren's face (smiling and otherwise) to cry over in his room alone. And cry he did. 

How that boy managed to look so handsome yet so utterly uncomfortable in every photo was completely beyond Hux. And there was the added bonus of the pictures making him miss having bright red hair. Ginger roots already showing or not, it would be a while before Hux had his natural hair back. 

Hux was getting a little fed up with catching Ren's eyes across the cafeteria, across the halls, in the doors as he brushed passed him. To look into his eyes but never talk, never be able to see anything more than unreadable darkness was getting agonizing.

Hux whipped around the corner leaving his lanugages class only to nearly run into Ren again. Fast reflexes or not, almost slamming into his crush was beginning to wear on him. And the long seconds of tense, questioning eye contact afterwards only seemed to make things worse. Ren never said a word, simply stared at him.

Hux looked up from his conversation with Pryde only to catch himself staring into Ren's dark eyes once again. This was getting tiresome. He grimaced into a tense smile, trying his best to start some kind of interaction with Ren, only to recieve the tiniest head shake and the pain of watching Ren's eyes skate away from his own again. 

Why.

Why the hell was Ren refusing to greet him? Was dying his hair too much? Was telling him he was beautiful for the third time getting too homo for Ren? Was he being too needy and forceful? 

Why?

Hux was dying inside one day at a time. One agonizing bit of eye contact at a time. 

Whether or not he was the one caught staring or not, he always felt a little ashamed after breaking eye contact with Ren yet again. 

Then again. There had been many times that he had caught Ren's eyes simply by looking up. Almost as if Ren had been looking at him. 

There was no way. Ren wouldn't so much as message him. It wasn't like Ren would stare at him in the lunchroom. Never. 

Right?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm really not sure where I am going with this fic but be prepared for like several more chapters of slow SLOW burn.


	13. Dance?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hux finally stops being a pussy and asks Ren to the Spring Dance with him.

Hux had decided he'd had enough. There was a time and a place for infinite staring at his crush and there was a time to get off his ass and ask him out.

Well, not exactly. Hux still didn't have the courage to tell perfectly straight and totally uninterested Ren that he liked him. 

But.

He did have the courage to ask Ren to the upcoming spring dance. Or at least he had the courage to try.

He decided to ask Ren via message, because he didn't have the courage to ask Ren to his face. Or at the very least, he didn't have a concrete plan to ask Ren to his face, short of assulting him on his way to his dad's classroom. Which was grounds for an immediate 'no' so Hux nixed that little scheme. 

The message he finally decided on, after a good amount of spluttering over voice call to Phasma, who repeatedly called him a bottom, read something like this.

_Ren._

_The spring dance is coming up and I was wondering if you would like to go with me. It's fine if you don't. I just realized we hadn't hung out in a while and this seemed like a good opportunity._

Hux was rather proud of how it read, he thought. Not to desperate or lonely and nothing pathetic, like saying he couldn't find a date or anything. Just a simple, straightforward request. 

The two hours he had to wait for Ren to reply were agonizing, Hux thought. They dragged on for at least 5 days. 5 hellish days, full of hyperventilating and distress. 

But Ren's simply reply, a classically Ren, 'sure' made the wait worth it. He was officially going to a dance with Ren. Just the two of them. Not in a friend group, not in a meet-me-there arrangement, but as a couple.

Probably just a couple of friends, but Hux was happy all the same.

Hux spent nearly an hour deciding on his outfit for the dance. His hair had faded back to a weird rusty color and he had given up on gelling it after about 15 minutes of trying and rinsing it out. After all, if he left it fluffy, maybe Ren would ask to touch it, or play with it even.

He went through three different colors of shirts and five different ties in his waffling. After the 11th or 12th picture of a nearly identical outfit, Phasma finally gave up. She burst into Hux's room 20 minutes later, finding him sitting on the floor in a pile of ties, nearly on the verge of tears.

"Look, I know you are trying to look your best for your boyfriend, but you really need to get it together." Phasma was annoyed, Hux thought. Really annoyed. Annoyed enough to come all the way to his house to tell him to get it together. 

But she was also right. He was being pathetic. It wasn't like Ren was going to care what he wore. It wasn't like Ren was going to notice much of anything. At most, they would probably hang out for a couple minutes and then Ren would disappear to dance with his friends or flirt with girls.

Why Hux had thought that asking Ren to the dance would mean anything to Ren other than a free entrance, he really wasn't sure. It was too late to back out now, of course, but that didn't stop Hux from regretting it immensely.

"He's... not my boyfriend." As much as Hux wished.

"Sure. Not yet he's not." Phasma winked at him conspiratorially, a knowing expression written all over her face. She then pulled him to his feet and brushed a loose wad of hair back from his face. "There. Now get dressed."

Hux almost cried again. "But in WHAT?!" He could feel creeping hopelessness, coupled with the intense desire to call Ren right away and cancel. 

"Look. Just put on your new grey slacks and that nice silver and black tie you just got. And you WILL be fine. I promise." Thank God for Phamsa. How she could keep such a cool head and not start screaming at him in all his pathetic glory was beyond Hux. Really.

Although she was right about the outfit. It looked nice. He finally settled on the grey shirt, feeling that black didn't have a strong enough contrast with his tie, and black converse. 

Hux felt a little better by the time they were stepping out of Phasma's mom's car at the academy entrance. The night was cold and rainy, turning to soft, thick snow in small bursts as the temperature fluctuated. 

He didn't see Ren in the line, which made sense, considering that Hux was paying the entrance fee, and decided to wait off to the side in the edge of the entrance lights for his date(!). The snowflakes flurried at the edges of the warmth and light spilling from the entrance, falling on the back of Hux's neck and catching in the rusty waves of his ungelled hair.

He really hoped his hair looked like he was trying to be laid back, as opposed to like he had given up. He had, of course, given up, but that was not what he wanted Ren to see when he finally got there. 

It might have been 2 minutes or it might have been 2 hours when Ren finally got there. Actually, got there was maybe not the right word for Ren's arrival. Rather, he appeared out of the shadows behind Hux to tap him on the shoulder and nearly scared him to the brink of tears once again. 

After which he was extremely happy because Ren was here and they could finally go inside.

Just as soon as they got through the impressive line.

The wait was one of the most awkward periods of Hux's entire life, he decided. Standing next to Ren in the cold, unwilling to look at him for fear he would start blushing again and unwilling to talk to him for fear of stuttering. And Ren didn't seem too inclined to break the awkward silence either. 

The weight of their silent wait was pressing against Hux's ears like the silence of a theater, despite the dull roar of the other students around them. He wanted to break the silence but Hux really wasn't sure how to open it without totally embarrassing himself. So he stayed silent. 

At least until they reached the door to the school and Ren gently grabbed his hand. Ren's hands were even warmer than Hux remembered, although that might have been because of the cold.

"Wha...?" Hux blushed, hoping the cold hid his embarrassment. Ren was holding his hand. Ren had initiated the contact. Hux was losing his shit.

"I thought we were getting the couples discount." Ren looked almost confused.

Cute.

Hux's stammered reply made him want to sink into the floor and disappear forever. Where had his chaotic, witty self from debate season gone? Why couldn't he just act natural with Ren? "We... we are." Hux smiled thinly, and tightened his grip on Ren's hand just a little, a tiny note of affirmation.

If the student doing ticket sales had any opinions on two guys getting a couple's ticket, she said nothing. She merely smiled and handed them their little stubs. "Have a good time!" 

Hux released a breathe he didn't realize he had been holding as they stepped into the warmth of the building. Ren kept a grip on his hand as they wove through the cramped hallway. Hux glanced over at him in confusion. And maybe a little bit of awe. Somehow, Ren still managed to look cute as hell, even in the unflattering school hallway lights.

"Hey do you want a picture?" Ren's voice stirred him out of his staring. He led them towards the grey backdrop where another student council member was offering free pictures for couples and friend groups.

"Uh... sure? Do you want a picture?" That was not what he meant to say. Not at all. Why couldn't he say anything even remotely intelligent in Ren's presence anymore?

"Yeah!" Ren laughed, sounding a little strained. "That's why I asked, dumbass." Ouch. Yeah, he was right, Hux was acting like an idiot. Or a grade schooler, one of the two.

They made their way into the picture setup and Hux straightened his tie one more time before she snapped the picture. 

But just before the camera went off, Ren slung one arm around Hux's waist and leaned in to his ear, stirring his fluffy, rusty hair. "You look really nice, by the way."

Hux turned cherry red just as the camera went off, certain his smile looked surprised and his face looked sun burned. Which, in hindsight, was probably Ren's intention all along. Asshole.

A very cute asshole.

One who kept holding his hand as they made their way down the decorated hallway and into the darkened commons. The sound rushed over Hux with the adrenaline that came with pounding music and flashing lights.

Hux would never tell Ren, but he had only been to one or two other dances in his life and this was the first time going with someone as a couple. 

He was determined to make the most of it. 

Ren lead him to the side to set down their data pads. Hux leaned against the wall awkwardly, not sure what to do with his hands now that Ren had let go of them. Lucky for him and his scattered sanity, Ren was still in possession of his wits.

"Dance?" 

The song wasn't exactly meant for slow dancing. Or really any kind of couple dancing. Which was good, because Hux didn't know how to dance. He really only knew how to jump up and down and do a couple of random Irish jigs. Which was fine.

Normally. But today, he wanted to impress Ren however possible. And Ren had asked him to dance. He had to make it good.

"Come on!" How Ren went from closed off and simply looking forward to getting inside to eager and over excited as ever was beyond Hux. Actually a lot of things about Ren were beyond Hux. 

Ren grabbed his hand again, wrapping his warm palm around Hux's impossibly cold digits and dragging him forcefully into the edge of the mob of writhing students. The music was louder there, throbbing through Hux's skull and sending excitement and adrenaline racing through his veins. 

Maybe he could have fun. Maybe.

He tried to ask Ren what they were doing but ended up just getting a confused expression and a barely audible peal of laughter from him. He might have mouthed something along the lines of "Follow my lead!" but Hux couldn't hear anything over the thundering bass. 

Ren, as it turned out, didn't know how to dance either. He just jumped up and down with the beat, hands still wrapped around Hux's. 

The music changed, slowing into something softer and almost romantic. As the tempo shifted, someone (Phasma, Hux later found out) shoved Hux into Ren's chest. 

Well, actually, more of his face, because they were only around an inch apart in height. 

Maybe they should have been dancing but for a long moment, Hux simply enjoyed the closeness of Ren's face, the ghost of his breathe across Hux's cheeks and and the tiny freckles smeared across his face, barely visible in the darkness. Mesmerized by the way his own breathe stirred the tiny strands of hair hanging across Ren's face, he didn't notice the snickers from around them.

Of course, Phasma would laugh at him. But this time, it was one of Ren's friends laughing. 

Oh well, better that Mitaka laugh than beat him up for almost kissing his straight friend, as he had suggested a few months ago. Hux didn't want to admit it but he was at least a little afraid of getting his ass beat if he ever actually made a move on Ren.

Just for a moment, he could have sworn Ren's eyes darted down towards his lips, the tiniest parting of his mouth sending fire through Hux's veins.

But there was a time and a place to kiss his crush and the dance floor at a high school dance was not one of them. Not by a long shot.

Hux scrambled back, blushing like a fire engine and thanking the darkness and flashing lights for hiding the bulk of his embarrassment. "Sorry." 

Thankfully, Ren was far better at keeping his shit together. "It's good." Ren smiled and took Hux's hand again, raising it into the air as the song changed again and pulling them into jumping to the beat.

This was fun, Hux decided. Or maybe he was just happy that Ren was holding his hand. And had been doing so for at least 15 minutes at this point. As much as he hadn't wanted to go earlier, he wasn't regretting a thing just then.

Ren finally got tired of jumping aimlessly like children at a rave and lead Hux out of the crowd and into the darkness of the side area. Other students were milling about, most likely including some of Hux's friends but the disorienting flashes of people's faces in the dark really wasn't helping him find any of his bros.

Not that he wanted to be with anyone but Ren just then.

"You..... want to go outside? It's kinda hot in here." Ren wiped his face for emphasis. Hux wouldn't deny that dancing in slacks and a dress shirt was rather hot. He didn't know how girls did it in their thick layered dresses and jackets. 

They made their way to the side door, stepping into a rush of cold air, laden with spring snow. Hux didn't want to leave the warmth and excitement of the dance floor but once that icy breeze hit his sweaty skin, and carded its way into his limp, sweaty hair, he decided it was one of the best sensations in the world.

Ren turned to him. "You wanna just sit out here for a little bit? It's awful loud inside." To think that Ren would have an issue with loud things. He truly was a mystery. The more you know.

"Yeah, sure." Hux found a dry place under the tiny eave of the roof and patted the icy concrete beside him. "Sit. I'm not standing." 

Maybe that was a little too commanding. But at least he was beginning to sound a little like himself. 

Ren sank down next to him in what Hux might have almost called an air of defeat. "Hey, can I ask you a question? As the foremost authority on gay shit that I know?" 

Hux was afraid he couldn't disguise the thrill of hope that ran through him. If Ren was asking him a question about 'gay shit' maybe he was questioning his sexuality. Which meant that maybe, just maybe, Hux had a chance. Someday. "Sure."

"Say someone.... liked girls right? Like this hypothetical person is straight. But..." Ren paused taking a tiny breathe and glancing towards the roiling grey sky. 

"But?"

"But they like one boy. Just one and they have never liked a boy before. Would that person be gay?" 

Hux never failed to understand how Ren could be a member of their generation and a friend of Hux's but not know anything about sexualities. "No. They would probably be bisexual." 

Ren seemed to cringe at this answer, which further cemented Hux's belief that he was the 'hypothetical person'. And caused Hux's heart to sink into his converse. Whether or not Ren was bi was of no consequence if he didn't want to admit it to himself. 

Internalized homophobia was a bitch, Hux knew better than anyone.

"Okay. But like this person mostly likes girls. They aren't really into guys usually." Ren refused to make eye contact with Hux, still gazing up at the sky, seemingly heedless of the snow landing on his lashes and melting on his cheeks.

Hux had a sudden and intense desire to brush the snow off Ren's face. 

"Bi with a preference for girls. That's normal." 

Ren looked a little happier at this, turning away from the clouds to smile at Hux. "Cool. Well, thanks for answering." 

Ren bounced his leg a little and returned to gazing in the distance. Hux shook his rapidly glacifiying hands and blew on his fingers. 

"Let me." Ren reached over and grabbed Hux's hands with his own. Somehow, his hands were still warm, despite the freezing snowy weather around them. He rubbed his own warm fingers across Hux's icy hand. 

Hux would have turned red if the cold hadn't already stung his cheeks into numbness. Instead, he reached up, pulling his hand from Ren's and brushed away a particularly large snowflake from the corner of Ren's lip.

"Jesus, your hands are really cold." Ren smiled and then continued rubbing at Hux's frozen fingers. "Maybe we should head back inside." 

"If you want to." Hux stood, trying to ignore how his joints cracked like pop rocks when he uncoiled himself from his position against the wall. He strode over, unwilling to shiver in front of Ren, and yanked open the door.

The warmth welcomed them again, noise and heat washing over him like a tsunami. Ren hung back a little, waiting. 

Hux turned back to him. "Are you sure you want to go in?"

Ren smiled stiffly. "Yeah, yeah, you paid for tickets. I'm not going to waste it by sitting in the cold." 

"Okay." 

This time, Hux was the one that led Ren onto the dance floor taking Ren's larger, warm hands in his and spinning him around, once, twice.

The last time he had danced like this was middle school, with his old best friend. They had spun themselves into incoherent dizziness in the flashing lights. Then again, a lot less people had been packed into a much larger space at that dance.

But that didn't stop Ren and Hux from spinning each other around a time or two. Ren was actually laughing alongside Hux by the end of it, a much more natural smile gracing his lips by the end of it.

But the expression faded as he caught sight of someone over Hux's shoulder. "Hey, do you want to leave a little early? We can like walk to the convenience store or something." Without waiting for an answer, Ren tugged Hux out of the crowd and set off down the hallway toward the back exit. 

"What's wrong? Are you okay?" Hux wasn't sure if he was actually alarmed or just curious but if Ren needed to leave, he was down. 

And the gas station sounded like a fine idea. After all, he still had his wallet on him.

"Yeah. I just don't feel like dancing is all." Ren paused, releasing Hux's hand and slowing to a more leisurely pace. "I just don't feel like dancing, is all." 

They pushed out the door and into the cold night once again, Ren still in the lead as they darted across the road and onto the sidewalk. 

They made it to the gas station without incident, where Hux purchased two energy drinks, one for each of them. After all, he was just going to go home and probably sleep or watch anime when the dance ended, it wasn't like he needed to avoid caffeine and its lethargic effects right now.

Still, he wished Ren would talk to him. 

They found a seat at a picnic bench by the library and Ren cracked open his energy drink and took a long sip. "Okay. I owe you an explanation."

"Yeah, you do." Hux was trying to cover his mild concern with anger but his aggression came out a bit childish and weak.

"I got in a fight with Mitaka. I didn't want to deal with it, so I left." Ren paused, letting Hux absorb the knowledge. "Thanks, by the way. I know I've kind of been an asshole, dragging you around."

That was the furthest thing from Hux's mind in that moment. "You fought with Mitaka? Over what?!" 

Ren sighed. "Nothing major. But... uh... is it okay if I sit with your friend group for a couple days when we get back?"

Now that was not the request that Hux had expected. He was half tempted to tell Ren to sit with the other freshmen, if only so that he wouldn't have to explain Ren to his friends. Or rather, so that he wouldn't have to explain that jokes about his crush were forbidden in Ren's presence.

His friends, though he loved them dearly, were infamously bad at keeping secrets. 

"Sure. You are always welcome with my friends." Hux was glad he managed to come out supportive rather than challenging with his reply. But maybe he was being too nice. Whether or not Ren was bi, he still wasn't ready to give away too much about the nature of his feelings. 

So instead he just smiled at Ren. And then pulled out his data pad. "I don't really feel like walking. Do you mind if I call my dad to pick me up?" 

Instead of getting mad about having to walk back alone, Ren simply pulled out his own data pad. "Sure, I'll just called Han to pick me up."

Parents contacted, they simply sat in the dark, icy cold, silently pondering whatever it is that teenage boys ponder when left in silence. Sometime in the middle of Hux zoning out, Ren laid one hand gently on top of Hux's, gripping his cold fingers yet again.

The clouds parted for a fraction of a second before Han drove up to the library, revealing a strip of bright stars, stark against the turbulent grey of the sky. 

The stars really were beautiful, Hux decided. 

It was only after Ren got in the car that Hux realized he had been wearing his debate outfit to the dance. Complete with a tie knotted in the style that Hux had complemented just a few months ago. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's not prom. They don't have prom in space :3.
> 
> Sorry for not updating for a while, I've been busy with other fics.


	14. Study Session

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I like writing dialogue heavy chapters so I'm going to indulge myself and write some dialogue. :3

Hux sank down to the grey carpet of the school building with a relieved sigh, grateful his dad had agreed to let him stay after school.

He really wasn't ready to face Brendol again, not after the verbal assault that had followed his impromptu pickup after the spring dance. It might have just been Hux's imagination but he could have sworn Brendol was getting more and more on edge as time went on.

Especially after realizing he ran away from the dance to hang out with a boy.

Brendol might be a total asshole, but he was not a stupid man and it didn't exactly take a genius to figure out that his relationship (or at the very least, he feelings) towards Kylo were straying a bit out of the platonic zone.

Especially after Kylo had basically come out as bisexual to him during the dance. Oh, how many fantasies that had sparked, dreams where he was the man who had that power over Kylo, dreams where he was the object of his friend's affections.

He settled against the cinder block wall and whipped out his laptop, prepared to study for a few long hours, prepared to milk the precious extended time away from his father. The day when his father questioned him about Kylo was coming, he was sure.

If nothing else, he just hoped he would have a clear answer when it did.

His fingers had been clicking over the worn keys less that 30 seconds when someone walked up to him, stopping in front of him and just... waiting.

Hux sighed, sure it was Phasma, come to tease him before drama practice yet again. He knew he should have found a better study spot. He just hadn't been in the mood to walk to the library that day.

"What." He probably shouldn't have sounded so irate, after all, Phamsa meant no real harm and she was a good friend despite everything. 

"Studying after school?" Hux nearly jumped up at that, because the voice of the person in front of him was not, in fact, Phasma. It was Kylo.

Right, of course. Kylo's dad worked after school on Fridays. Of course his son would still be here.

Hux stopped and glanced up at the dark haired boy above him, stunned yet again by just how well his new haircut suited him. 

Not that his old haircut hadn't. After all, Hux thought, Kylo was beautiful in all his forms.

To think, that just a few months earlier, he would never have called Kylo beautiful. That he would have sworn up and down that he hated Kylo Ren. That he would sooner curse him and call him a fuck boy and a loser than gush to his face that he was adorable.

Oh, how the mysteries of time work in funny ways sometimes.

"Yeah. You?" Hux smiled wanly at Kylo doing his best not to break into a massive grin at the mere presence of his favorite person. Hux was renowned for his calm, collected nature, after all. Even if he was a hotheaded crackhead deep down.

"My dad has a staff meeting. Mind helping with some homework?" Of course Kylo would ask for homework help. God forbid he did his own work once in a while. But the more times Kylo asked him, the less Hux found himself caring.

Hux smiled this time. "Yeah sure. Sit down though, you look funny when you're that far above me." He patted the ground next to him and turned back to his datapad, busying himself with checking his email in an effort to keep from staring.

"I have this grammar homework I need help with." Kylo was leaning far too close, smiling in his little, self assured way, his face inches from Hux's as he shifted his bag out from behind him.

This was entirely too close.

"Sure, sure. I will warn you, I'm not great at English." That was a lie, Hux was academically gifted if nothing else. But no one liked a know it all and Hux knew that better than anyone. Friends came first. 

A few minutes later, Hux was regretting his agreement to help more than anything in the world. Kylo's homework was kriffing hard. Maybe it was because his teacher worded it funny or maybe it was because Kylo's thigh was touching his the whole time, sending shivers of nervous heat all through his limbs.

Kylo was very distracting, Hux decided. Very distracting indeed.

"This is stupid. Wanna work on geography instead?" 

At this, Hux started a little. Kylo had not told him he had more homework. Part of Hux was angry for being coerced into helping more than he bargained for and part of him was just glad for the excuse to spend a little more time in Kylo's orbit.

But he simply agreed and brought up his own copy of the geography assignments for the week on his datapad. "Sure. You can look over mine and check your answers." 

Hux wasn't really sure if Kylo actually talked to him because he wanted to and didn't know what to talk about or only talked to him for the purpose of homework.

Part of him really didn't care either way, so long as he and Kylo had a reason to remain friends. He honestly wasn't sure how he would endure summer break without Kylo just down the hall from him most of the day. He had barely managed when he didn't have a massive crush he only saw at school; he wasn't sure how he would manage the isolation now that he did.

Kylo finished his homework far faster than Hux had anticipated and for a moment or two, they simply sat there, hesitant and silent, in the oppressive stillness of the hallway.

It was Kylo who finally broke the tense, charged silence a few moments later. "You should listen to Shinigami." 

Hux blinked, unsure of whether or not Kylo was making a Death Note reference or actually suggesting him music. "What?"

Kylo huffed a little, his voice somewhere between annoyance and fondness when he spoke again. "Shinigami's Occam's Razor album. You should listen to it."

When Hux simply sat there still stunned by Kylo's closeness, Kylo sighed again and reached over, pushing Hux's limp hands of the keyboard to type something. "Here."

Hux blinked out of his Kylo induced daydream and stared at the screen in front of him. More specifically, at the album pulled up and ready to play on his screen. "Listen." Kylo hit the play button, shoving one earbud into Hux's ear and the other into his own.

The music that followed was incredibly sad, for something with lyrics that were almost screamed and background music that sounded like the ambient noise to a mental breakdown.

Hux closed his eyes for a brief second, relishing the music in one ear, the sound of their synchronized breathing in the other, the scent of Kylo's cologne and the warm length of Kylo's leg pressed against his own.

The lyrics, he realized, were incredibly sad. So much so that the fact that Kylo listened to this and liked it enough to recommend it to a friend was mildly concerning. 

Something that Kylo was probably incredibly aware of. "I posted the lyrics to this online. Some people were actually worried I would commit suicide."

Hux huffed a little. "I would be too." Still, something in the way Kylo said it made him reasonably certain he didn't intend to do anything of the sort. 

"I think this album is really targeted at people on the edge of suicide, you know. It's deep, honestly." 

Hux almost laughed at that. Sure, the lyrics were sad, but while he was pretty sure the album name had a double meaning, he wasn't really seeing any hidden meanings or super deep metaphors in the actual lyrics.

Sad, yes. But incredibly, soul-rendingly deep? No.

Kylo paused, leaning away from Hux to adjust his data pad before it slide of his lap. "I stayed up late last night, you know."

Hux could relate. "Doing what?" Hux was no longer sure how much of his interest in Kylo's daily life was interest in what he actually did and how much was simply a desire to continue any conversation until it was thoroughly exhausted.

"Watching Ash Hardell." 

That was actually interesting. Ash Hardell was one of the faces of the YouTube LGBT community. And they were a non binary icon for trans gender youth everywhere, in Hux's opinion.

Kylo went on to clarify. "I'm not questioning my gender or anything. I just think it's interesting."

Hux could respect that. After all, he too was cisgender male but that didn't change that LGBT terminology was interesting to learn and know.

And it was incredibly cool of Kylo to go learn more about the community without being prompted. 

"That's valid. It is interesting." Hux cut a glance sideways at Kylo, smiling just a little behind his glasses. 

They sat in silence for a few minutes longer after that, Hux typing out an essay for his English class and Kylo scrolling through was he assumed was Reddit, before Kylo spoke up again. "I'm sorry. I don't really know what more to say."

Part of Hux wanted to tell him not to say anything. After all, the fact that he even cared enough to worry about what to say was enough for Hux. But part of him wanted to be the knight in shining armor that rescued the conversation. "Okay. Let's look at memes."

Looking at memes turned out to be the worst idea Hux had the entire day. It was incredibly hard to focus on anything when he felt the vibrations of Kylo's laugh in his bones from the point of contact between their shoulders.

Kylo was just distracting, he thought. Distractingly cute, distractingly warm. Just distracting. 

Part of Hux knew that Phasma was right. That Kylo was probably straight, or at the very least, not into him, and that he should just move on. Be with someone who liked his gender. Hell, he had a better chance with Pryde than Kylo.

But Hux wasn't ready to stop holding out hope. Not while they were sitting inches apart, alone, after school hours and Kylo was laughing into his shoulder at a meme.

Hux was going to get hurt with this boy someday. The question now was whether or not Kylo would make him happy first.

A small inkling of an idea came to Hux just then, and he turned his laptop partly away from Kylo for a second to pull up one of his favorite saved images. "Hey, Kylo. Guess what?"

_Definition of cute : YOU._

Kylo laughed again. "Thanks, Percy. I think that's the first time you've called me cute to my face." 

It wasn't.

But if the moment meant something to Kylo, who was he to take that away? "Really? Well then, it's long overdue."

He really hoped that came out smooth and confident, rather than clumsy and squeaky like it felt. He really hoped he sounded like someone who knew how to flirt with boys, rather than a middle schooler unsure of how to say 'hi' to a crush.

He really hoped he was the one that had made Kylo Ren question his sexuality.

There were a lot of things he hoped about Kylo Ren, he realized. So many dreams that would likely never be realized.

Kylo laughed again, clicking back to the tab with the memes over Hux's shoulder, his fingers brushing Hux's as he did. And maybe, just maybe, lingering a second longer than necessary.

For a moment, they simply stared at the screen, before finding another cache of amusing images and laughing together for a bit longer.

Of course, all good things must come to an end, and in this case, the end was Kylo Ren's father, Han Solo, marching up and telling his son to stop goofing off and get on his way home.

Kylo just clapped Hux on the shoulder and left, his hand lingering just a second too long yet again. "Later man! The memes were a good idea."

Hux could have sworn Kylo winked at him as Han turned away. "Bye.... Kylo." His voice faded out at the two of them marched away, leaving Hux to have another existential crisis in Kylo's absence. 

Brendol was not pleased at having to pick Hux up from school after hours yet again. "Why didn't you come home?!" His voice was soft, vehement and dangerously close to a scream somehow when Hux swung himself into the backseat of his father's hover.

"I was studying." Elaborating would only make his father more suspicious. 

"Likely story. Why were you hanging out with that _Kylo Ren_ kid again?" Brendol seemed extra pissed today, Hux thought. What ever had he done this time?

Moreover, how the hell did his dad always know when he had been hanging out with Ren? He was like a dog, smelling Ren's presence on him before he even said a word.

A very angry dog.

"I was studying." Hux obstinately repeated his mantra of an excuse, praying his father would drop it and drive them home in peace. 

"With a _boy!_ You can deny it all you want but I know you're lying about being straight. And you know the rules about being gay in this household." 

Yay, time for another tirade of homophobic bullshit from his oh so wonderful father. Maybe this time he wouldn't get any bruises out of it.

"Yes, Dad. I know the rules. In any case, I am not gay."

"Likely story." His father practically spat the words at him, burning eyes meeting Hux's downcast gaze in the rear view mirror. "You are expected to be a functioning and contributing member of society. Not some faggot."

Hux cringed at the abusive language, eager to get out of the car the moment they reached home. He wasn't even gay. He liked girls too. H

"Yes, Father."

"Good. No breaking the laws of nature for some disgusting _phase,_ got it?" Brendol turned away, stepping on the gas a little harder than strictly necessary and sped them off towards home.

Hux wasn't even sure home was the right word for it anymore.

The only thing he was sure of was the fact that the universe had doomed any relationship between him and Kylo from every angle.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm really sorry for taking so long to update and any ideas/comments are much appreciated!


	15. Closure, in a Sense

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hux and Kylo decide to be a little more open with each other at the last moment.

_Hux wasn't sure how they ended up there, disappearing down that forgotten hallway in yet another vaguely familiar school. He wasn't sure it mattered._

_In that moment, dreamlike in quality and somehow quite peaceful, all that mattered was Kylo Ren's warm hand folded around his, the secret smiles he flashed Hux over his shoulder, the heat radiating of his body._

_The heat radiating off Hux's face, he was sure._

_Kylo finally stopped, pulling Hux in close, as if for a hug. Confused, the ginger leaned into Kylo's warm embrace, only to be gently, yet assertively, shoved against the wall, into on of the breaks between the numerous rows of lockers. Kylo leaned into his personal space, heedless of the posters crunching behind them, his breathe ghosting over Hux's lips._

_And then he kissed him._

_It was a gentle little kiss, barely a press of lips against Hux's own, but it quickly turned a little harder, more forceful and needy as Kylo leaned fully against Hux. His chest was flush against Hux's through their dress shirts and somehow the suit jacket he was sure he had been wearing was no where to be found._

_Hux marveled at the heat of Kylo's lips, so much more burning than his hands, at the beat of his heart through their shirts, the gentle rise and fall of his chest._

_Kylo pulled back, his deep, chocolate eyes glittering with something untraceable. But happy, whatever emotion lurked behind Kylo's stunning brown gaze was positive, Hux was sure of that much._

_"Don't tell the team." Kylo's words ghosted over Hux's slightly parted lips with his breathe, soft and gentle._

_Hux only cocked his head to one side, smiling softly. "Why the hell would I tell them anything?"_

_Kylo only nodded, pressing his lips a little harder against Hux's slightly open, smiling mouth. His lips were warm and just slightly wet, as if Kylo had licked them before leaning in. Hux was pretty sure if they kept doing this he would die and go to heaven._

_Or hell, if his father got his way._

_He found that, somehow, he really didn't care. If he perished at the mercy of Kylo's warm lips, he would have died happy._

_Which of course was the cue for his vision to go fuzzy and indistinct, as if he were passing out._

***

Hux sat up so fast his bed bounced with the force of the motion. His breathe came in short, aching gasps, accompanied by the disappointment that flooded him as he processed the fact that what had just happened was merely a dream. Merely a figment of his increasingly overactive imagination.

He wasn't sure how many dreams of kissing Kylo he could take before he pulled the emo aside and kissed him in real life. Which of course would end in disaster.

He sighed again, registering that it was morning, or very nearly so, and there was little chance of resuming sleep after a dream like that. He dutifully pulled himself out of bed and dressed for his morning run, heaviness somewhere between exhaustion and crippling disappointment haunting his every move.

His run that morning was dogged by memories of his dreams, his head filled with swirling thoughts of Kylo, of Kylo's confession to potentially liking a boy. A boy that was almost certainly not Hux.

That in and of itself was a real shame. If Kylo was going to question his sexuality, Hux would have liked to be the cause, at least in some measure. But, as he was quickly coming to understand, if not quite accept, was a cruel and unforgiving place, prone to watching its inhabitants suffer with something akin to malicious joy.

Now fully showered and dressed for a weekend day, which would most likely consist of homework, studying and filling out more paperwork for his summer jobs, Hux padded out of the bathroom and turned on his phone.

There were only a couple of new messages, one of which was from Kylo himself. Hux would never quite get over the fact that he now had Kylo's number and could talk to him whenever he wanted, even outside of datapad messages.

**Kylo:** _Good morning_

_Wyd?_

Hux had noticed that Kylo had a tendency to ask what Hux was doing whenever he was bored, as if hoping to keep the conversation going as long as possible to avoid the inevitable boredom. He smiled to himself at that, a part of him glad Kylo cared what he was doing, how he was feeling, what his opinions were, even if it was simply because the other boy was bored.

**Hux:** _Just got back from running. You're up early :)_

While Kylo might be willing to stop to actual emojis and even occasionally saying shit like 'lol' and 'omg' Hux was unwilling to sully himself and his typing in such a way, and so resolutely stuck to typing out smiley faces whenever he used them.

He set his phone down and opened up his laptop, scrolling through his emails and assignments casually as he waited with what he hoped wasn't baited breathe for Kylo to respond. Kylo was always prompt, even when he wasn't online, which was funny, Hux thought.

Surely he had girls to talk to that took a higher priority than Hux. 

Sure **enough** Kylo responded, sending a YouTube video and yet another accursed emoji. It was nice, talking to Kylo, even if it did lead to Hux being rather distracted in his studying. Hux was a good multitasker, sure, but he was also ready to drop everything in an instant just to respond to Kylo that much faster.

Phasma was right, he did have it bad. And talking to Kylo via text nearly every day, at any hour that the other boy was awake, certainly wasn't helping.

  
  


Kylo was even more friendly over text, telling Hux his thoughts on nearly everything. And that was when ignoring the various jokes and suggestions of inviting Hux over. 

He had been talking to Kylo for nearly an hour and a half when his father came downstairs, pulling out the cheesecake Hux had made last night in a fit of boredom and cutting himself a slice. Hux huffed a little under his breathe.

Not that he was intending to eat much of the cheesecake himself but it was rather annoying that his father simply helped himself. The list of annoying things about his father just kept getting longer, Hux noticed. 

**Hux:** _I made cheesecake but my dad is eating it without asking and I angy >:(_

He could practically hear that laugh of Kylo's as the boy's typing icon popped up, indicating his message was received and a response was on the way. 

**Kylo:** _XD_

_you should bring me some Ow <_

Even over text, Kylo still managed to be incredibly cute. Hux was grateful, in a way. Sure, Kylo might not be in love with him but he was confident that Kylo didn't talk like that to his other friends. After all, he was one of the 'cool kids'. He had a reputation to upload.

But that didn't matter with Hux.

**Hux:** _I don't know where you live, dumby_

Kylo's reply came almost instantly.

**Kylo:** _I'll text you my address. Bring a lot ;P_

It seemed that after weeks of teasing and jokes, Kylo was actually inviting him over. Hux should have made cheesecake sooner. He smiled at his phone for a long second, nearly jumping when Kylo's next message, the details of his address, popped up.

Carefully, he wrapped two large pieces of chocolate cheesecake in food wrap, taking them from the soft middle of the cheesecake, for once glad for his father's insistence on eating the edges first. 

One bikeride and a few minutes of nervous pacing later, he was standing in front of what he really hoped was actually Kylo Ren's house, clutching the small bag with the wrapped cheesecake in it to his chest as he braced himself to see his crush one on one for the first time in weeks.

Kylo opened the door a few seconds later, practically beaming and still in his pajama's despite it being nearly 9 o'clock am. "Hey, Hux!"

Hux's brain apparently decided it needed a vacation in that second, leaving him to babble senselessly at Kylo's beaming face for a few seconds. "I brought two pieces but they're both for you, I just didn't want to let my dad have any of the best part. I brought middle pieces you see. Not that you have to eat them both now, you could freeze them or put them in the fridge or just let it vibe on the table if you want to eat it later today or..."

Kylo cut him off with a heavy hand clapped onto his shoulder. "Come on in. If you're going to bring me cheesecake on a weekend we might as well watch some anime as well."

Hux sighed with relief, some of the embarrassment and fear draining out of him as Kylo lead him deeper into his obviously newly built house. He shoved Hux gently into a seat at the kitchen island, putting out one hand rather insistently towards Hux and the bag he still clutched in his nervous fingers.

"Cheesecake? I haven't had breakfast yet." Kylo smiled again, leaving Hux once again stunned by how open the other boy was with him now. Especially compared with the closed off sass of the beginning of the year.

Which reminded him that today was actually the last Saturday before the summer break and the start of his two part time jobs. It was actually kind of funny, thinking about the fact that, thanks to work, he would see his friends even less over the break.

"Sure. Here you go." Hux struggled with the plastic bag for a couple second before simply ripping it open and thrusting a slice of carefully wrapped dessert at Kylo. 

Kylo accepted it with another smile of thanks, his chocolate eyes crinkling with anticipation and joy, the same bright glimmer as Hux remembered from his dream.

Now was really not the time to think about that dream.

Kylo was even nice enough to unwrap the treat carefully, instead of ripping into it, despite his clear anticipation and hunger for the confection. "Thanks so much, Percy." Kylo took a giant bite out of his liberated cheesecake, smiling around crumbs of chocolate. "Wha' anime ya wanna wamtch?" 

Hux shrugged. "Anything really. We could watch Neon Genesis Evangelion if you want. I know that one's good." 

Kylo looked disappointed for a second. "Oh. I was going to suggest Interspecies Reviewers."

Hux shuddered. He didn't need to have seen that anime to know it was absolutely hentai posing as an anime. "I bring you cheesecake and you threaten me with hentai?" He shook his head, doing his best to be offended by the suggestion. 

Kylo laughed, seemingly ashamed but really probably just enjoying Hux's false offended expression. "Okay, okay. Evangelion it is."

He promptly shoved the rest of his cheesecake in his mouth, hesitating over the other piece before getting up to put it away in the fridge. "How many episodes you wanna watch? My parents won't be up for a hour and a half or so, if you don't want to explain why you just kinda showed up to them."

Hux really did not want to explain to Mr. Solo and his wife why he had appeared uninvited to visit their son, someone he was, to Mr. Solo's knowledge, merely teammates with.

"Yeah, 2 or 3 episodes sounds good. You got your laptop?" He smiled at Kylo in what he hoped was a casual manner, moving his chair around the table to sit next to Kylo.

Kylo, who laughed and then dragged him to the couch behind them, his laptop already open on the coffee table. "We have a couch for a reason."

Hux, for one, was suddenly a lot more nervous about watching anime. It was easy enough to not cuddle when they were on separate seats, divided by the constraints of their seating arrangement. But when they were side by side of a fluffy couch? It was going to be a lot harder not to lean all over Kylo.

He needn't have worried, as it turned out. The moment they had the anime playing and earbuds in, Kylo leaned in, pressing his side against Hux's and shoving his folded thighs against Hux's as he balanced the laptop on their knees. 

And, as it turned out, it only took around an episode and a half for Kylo to lean his head on Hux's shoulder, his fluffy, inky hair brushing the underside of Hux's jawline and his warm cheek pressed firmly to the bones of Hux's shoulder. It wasn't an exaggeration to say that he felt Kylo's breathe in his bones, the warm air ghosting across Hux's collarbone gently.

Hux was regretful, to say the least, when he carefully pulled himself out from beneath Kylo three episodes later, walking stiffly over to the door to pull on his worn converse and turning around to bid Kylo goodbye.

Only to find him inches from Hux's face.

"Didn't you promise me a hug sometime last week?" If Hux didn't know better, he would have said the emo was pouting. 

Hux sighed good naturedly. He was looking forward to hugging Kylo. He had simply been expecting more time to emotionally prepare to do so. "Sure, Kylo." He turned around, ready to carefully wrap his arms around Kylo.

Only to have the other boy snake his arms under Hux's, pulling him in close by the waist and burying his face in Hux's neck, despite being a good inch taller than Hux. Hux was shocked, to say the least. Sure, he and Kylo had gotten quite a bit closer via text in the last few weeks, but this was the kind of hug you gave a best friend.

Or a lover, but Hux tried to push that thought from his head the second it surfaced. 

Uncertainly, Hux wrapped his arms around Kylo's upper body, tightening them when he felt Kylo give his waist a reassuring squeeze. 

It might have been 20 seconds, it might have been 20 minutes, but the moment that Kylo let go, leaving Hux once again without his warmth, was disappointing in a way that nothing he had experienced before had been. 

A real life hug from Kylo was nothing compared to his dreams.

"Bye, Hux. Bring me more sweets!" Kylo smiled again, ruffling Hux's hair one last time before showing him outside and shutting the door behind him. Hux stood there for a second, staring at the sky and marveling at the ghost of Kylo's arms around him.

His previous dreams might have had nothing on that sensation but it was practically a given that any dreams from there on out would likely incorporate the unforgettable sensation of Kylo's warm arms around his waist.

He was right.

***

The end of the school year came entirely too soon for Hux's taste. It was hard to believe that he had met Kylo 9 whole months ago, that he had hated the boy before he even knew him. And yet, here he was, signing Kylo's yearbook with the simple message: 'Thanks for being a good friend. Have a good summer and hope to see you on the debate team next year!'.

The exclamation mark might be a little much, he decided. But maybe it was just enough. After all, he could text Kylo all he wanted but he wouldn't really be seeing the freshman, soon to be sophmore, for a while.

Not with work and the consuming project of avoiding his father to occupy his time. So leaving a message with a little heart might be just the right decision.

He passed the yearbook back to Kylo, smiled a little at the way Kylo's face lit up at his message. "You could have just told me that!"

It never failed to amaze Hux how much Kylo was open and bright when he thought no one was looking. "Sorry. I won't be able to hang out much so I wanted to leave something at least slightly memorable."

Kylo laughed at that. "Memorable? Why? I'm not about to forget you, Percy. Really." He smiled that cheeky little grin again. "What do you think of me?"

Hux chuckled uncomfortably, unsure of how to answer. He hadn't really been all that worried about Kylo forgetting him completely. He just didn't want the distance of summer and the reduction of interaction to simple text messages to steal the spark of friendship they had slowly built over the year.

"I... I'm done signing yearbooks. Wanna go wait for the transport bus?" He hoped his small little smile covered the discomfort at his inability to think up a suitable reply to Kylo's chiding.

"Sure. You owe me another hug before we leave, though." 

Hux nodded, hoping his excitement over the prospect of a hug from Kylo wasn't as obvious as it felt. "Okay, okay. Let's go."

They walked in silence down the long, grey hallway, both boys seemingly lost in the memories of what had been an eventful year. Hux was amazed, really. High school was already half over for him.

The end of the hallway, and, as Hux saw it, the end of his second year of high school, came far to fast. "Can't believe this year's already over, wow." His voice shook, he was sure of it. 

"Yeah. Hug?" Kylo turned to him, smiling in anticipation, something a bit sadder ghosting behind his eyes. 

Hux nodded, stepping in to let Kylo wrap his arms around his waist firmly. "Hug." He sighed, reveling in the feeling of Kylo's warm body pressed against his own, letting his head drop to Kylo's boney shoulder. He wondered if his breathe ghosting over Kylo's shoulder was as electrifying to Kylo as Kylo's breathe was to him.

Hux pulled his head back, meeting Kylo's eyes as they simply stood, still hugging. Kylo's eyes were bright, a warm melted chocolate color in the bright spring sunlight. 

Hux tried to push his dreams out of his head as he took in the heady sensation of Kylo's breathe across his mouth. As he took in the slight, but unmistakable drop of Kylo's eyes to his lips.

And, in a small, sudden motion, Kylo kissed him. 

It was barely a kiss really, just a small press of lips on lips, Kylo's warm, thin lips pressed softly against Hux's slightly parted mouth. But the sensation of Kylo's mouth on his, for real this time, not just in a dream, was something Hux knew he was unlikely to forget for many many years.

It was something he knew he would think about late at night for many months to follow. It wasn't his first kiss. But it was, without a doubt, his most significant. 

Kylo pulled back, a hint of a laugh tumbling across the reappearing gap between their lips. 

Hux just stared at him in shock. "Why?"

Kylo laughed again, a little of his bravado coming back into the sound. "You looked like you wanted it. And I know I did."

Hux stepped back, his hands falling naturally into Kylo's as they separated. He looked at the ground, hoping to spare Kylo the sight of his expression waffling between shock and delight, his face turning red as if he had been filling with boiling water.

"I won't deny that." He looked up, meeting Kylo's gaze with some fear, terrified of what he might find there. Like regret. After all, Kylo Ren, with his reputation as a popular, and more importantly, straight, kid had just kissed another boy in a public area.

But Kylo's expression was anything but regretful. Hux wasn't sure, but if he had to guess, he would have called the expression love. "So you _do_ like me then?"

Hux blushed even harder. "I... don't know. I like you as a person and as a friend, certainly." A small part of him snarled at the missed opportunity. ' _L_ _iar'._

Kylo just nodded. "Well, I like you. So get back to me when you do know, m'kay?"

Hux met Kylo's eyes, marveling at the unmistakable certainty and honesty behind them. Kylo meant it, there was no doubt about it. And Hux knew he liked Kylo far more than he thought he had any right to. 

Kylo let go of one of his hands, threading his fingers carefully through the other and squeezing before letting go. They maintained their comfortable silence as they got on the bus, taking a seat together and resigning themselves to a summer apart, stuck with their families.

Hux knew his answer, he had known for a long time, really. But he wasn't sure if he was ready to give it. Yet he couldn't bring himself to mind, or even to be embarrassed, when Kylo threaded his fingers through Hux's and pulled their hands into his lap. 

Hux couldn't resist waving at Kylo through the window when the time came for him to finally say good bye to his friend (boyfriend??!). He wasn't ready to say goodbye. But he was ready to see Kylo again next school year.

Maybe then he would have the confidence to give a proper answer. 

One could only hope. If there was any hope for the boy who'd fallen in love with an emo.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey!
> 
> If you read this entire work then thanks! I know not a whole lot of people were super interested in this project but I had a great time writing it and I would appreciate any comments, complaints, or suggestions you have!
> 
> If you would like to hear more about these two edgy idiots, let me know and I will consider writing a sequel or a seperate fanfic with the bois more in character.
> 
> If you have any other fandoms you would like me to write a fic for, let me know! I am most open to Death Note, Promare, Good Omens, and Haikyuu.
> 
> Thanks again for reading!


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